Wednesday, December 12, 2012
I am not a real sweet lover. I don't drool over chocolate or candy whenever I see a commercial about them or see them when I'm checking out groceries at the store. I like salty things, but I'm not a real fan of those either. I like pretzels, just not with the extra salt on them. I do not really fit into any group or maybe I am a part of every group. Either way, food is my weakness when I am stressed. Fatty foods, spicy foods, crunchy foods...you get the point. But it seems that it's harder to eat right when I am around people. Kinda crazy but let me explain.
I am a very influential person. But at the same time, I am very influenced by others. I take on others accents even after just 5 minutes of talking to them. It's weird but true. Anyway, with food, I am a bit picky, but I am still influenced by my famil's food choices.. When I eat, I see them eat around me. When I am eating healthy, I look at what they are eating and even if I am full I am seriously craving the food that they are eating. I can't really explain why I do that. Sometimes they eat things that I don't like so I try to find something else to eat with them.
I know it may sound strange but that's just me. And it soon won't be.
I used to be in denial about my eating habits. But now I realize that I need to stop lying to myself since it's doing more harm than good. Now, whenever my family cooks something unhealthy or something I don't eat, I cover it up in the fridge and seclude my things in certain cabinets so I dont have to see them. Whenever I see them eat and I start craving, I either walk away, chew gum, or - weird - put in my mouth guard. It helps satisfy myelf and not eat more. It works for me. No more lying to myself or giving up on myself. That's what got me obese in the first place. They don't truly understand and that's okay. I don't either. But this is what is right for me. They do not eat as healthy as I do. I can't force them to. But slowly I am cooking healthier things for them and they like it. Maybe one day things will change for us and we will all eat healthy but until then I am moving forward one day at a time and discovering more weaknesses and ways to strengthen myself and influence others. Knowing your weaknesses, especially if you have a lot of them, doesn't make you weak, it makes you human. I have many weaknesses but to me it means that I have a wonderful and challenging journey ahead of me and I will be soo much stronger when I finally finish. Others may have less struggles with their weight, addictions, etc. but I'm grateful for mine. They don't make me but they they can make me stronger. I just have to discover them, accept them, and strengthen myself to get over them.
And know that I am a work of art in progress. :)