Advertisement -- Learn more about ads on this site.
NARA87
15,000-19,999 SparkPoints 18,649
SparkPoints
 

Kinda tired of this, but whatever

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

They say that you only fain when you give up, so I guess I haven't failed. I'm back again!!!1

My last comeback was too long ago. It didn't last though. I have Hashimoto's and it keeps getting worse. Last May, I went to a new endocrinologist. He told me to go off the T4 for a month and I did it. It was so awful. I wasted my entire summer. When I wasn't too tired to get up from bed, I was asleep. In the end of that month, I was 21 lbs heavier. I went back for tests and he told me that I had been on the right dose and to keep it up... Just... no words. Nothing.

The worse part was that I gave up. I had bought this new pair of pants, which I couldn't pull up by the end of June and I threw it away. I had been making a charm bracelet: one charm for each goal met. I threw that away, too. I was done. Really done.

But by October, I'd realized that I can't do it. I can't give up. I can set crazy goals and fail and stop for a while or decide to take a break because it's Christmas and I don't want to miss out on anything, but I can't say that I'm never going to lose weight and just stop. Not when I know what I'm capable of. Not when I look forward to going home because nobody makes baked beans and ratatouille like my mom does. You don't know how surreal it is for me to say this.

I'm a new person and I can't wrong myself like this, I just can't. This weight loss process is taking too long and I get tired of it and I need help, but I don't know what kind of help, so I can't even ask for it, but I'm in it for the long haul. So, I'm starting over. I've already lost 17 out of the 21 lbs, but I only started tracking on Sunday. I'm doing all the steps on Sparkpeople again. I'm trying to go back to where I was when I first started and lost those 62 lbs. Hopefully this will work. If not, I'll just do the coming and going until I'm at goal 3 years later, I don't care. I just know that I'll do it.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post

    Be the First to Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment


    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.
 

More Blogs by NARA87