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Changing Negative Self Talk & Living Life...

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

I have come a long way the past (almost) 9 months. The physical changes are obvious, and I've been focusing on a lot of physical stuff lately. I have been talking about the amount of weight I have lost and my calorie plans to lose more, but I haven't talked much about the emotional stuff.

I have been learning to reprogram my mind and get rid of my negative self talk. After 26 years of constantly telling myself "You will always be the fat girl", "you will never lose this weight", "why are you even trying, you will only gain it back!", it is really quite the challenge to turn that self talk around.

Do I still have my "fat days" where I just feel blah? emoticon Absolutely, but I try not to let that thought overwhelm me or stick with me throughout the day.


Despite all the progress I have made, I recently found myself saying "I will actually be happy when I lose the rest of this weight!" But I really stopped and dissected what that statement meant to me and what it implied. I felt like, while at first glance this statement looked potentially harmless, for me it meant that I am not happy now, and that I am waiting to be happy when I get to my goal weight. That is certainly not what I want. Despite everything I am actually very happy now. I may not get to my goal weight for months and months, or maybe even over a year. I am done "delaying happiness" because of a number on a scale. I was saying this to myself multiple times a day, so I had to replace it with a new phrase. I thought about it for a minute and I decided on "I will FEEL a lot better when I lose the rest of this weight." I thought that was a very fair and accurate statement. I feel 10 times better after getting 60 pounds off of my body, so it is only logical that after losing 30 or 40ish more I will physically feel EVEN better.

I am learning to appreciate where I am at and what I have accomplished while striving to get to my goals. I don't want to allow myself to become too comfortable at this weight, because I have places to go and people to see in Onederland, but that doesn't mean I can't stop and enjoy the scenery in the mean time! I have been going out more, dating boys *gasps*, although not super successfully emoticon, and have not been jumping out of the way of cameras. I have more pictures of me out with friends in this past year than I have in my whole life and I'm glad to have them. emoticon

I encourage any of you that struggle with "negative" or "counter productive self talk" to try your best to replace it with much more encouraging phrases, it really does help in a lot of ways! emoticon emoticon emoticon
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GEMINIGEM6 12/17/2012 8:44PM

    You KNOW I struggle with this as we've talked about it before. So I feel you! And I too have really been working on this. I totally understand! I know the key for all of us is to learn to be content in the moment and while we're on the journey and not wait for that only for when we reach our destination. :) Aren't you glad you catch yourself when you think this way now? I didn't used to catch it but I am so much more aware of it now! :)

p.s. that kitty pic is TOO cute!

Comment edited on: 12/17/2012 8:44:44 PM

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THESHELBSTER 12/16/2012 8:07AM

    LOVE this bog and love you. Super proud of you.

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JESSICA_STULTZ 12/13/2012 12:26AM

    Yes.. You are more than just a number on the scale.. And you should be happy with yourself no matter what progress you have made! You deserve to be a happy you! (I think I'm really guilty of this too though.. of saying when I hit my goal I will be so happy with myself.) I never really stopped to think about what I was saying either. This makes me think I need to start rethinking how I feel about myself as well. I have been pretty negative about myself up until this journey.. and even now I have my days.

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JUDY106 12/12/2012 9:59PM

    This was a fabulous blog. Thanks for sharing.We all need to be reminded to use the positive Self Talk. funny I just stated in another blog that I was going to have to use some serious Self talk to get though the Holidays. I really believe in Positive Self Talk.
This blog was what I needed to read right now to get myself back to the correct state of mind. Thanks again. Hugs, Judy

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HEATHERFREE 12/12/2012 8:32PM

    So awesome! I was going to mention the pictures the other day. I was thinking wow she has been taking tons of pics the past few months! I wonder if she notices that change? And here I see you do! The negative self talk and thinking in general is the biggest thing I need to work on, it is was sabotages me every time! Good job, onederland is SO close!

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JACOBSBELOVED 12/12/2012 2:21PM

    You make me so proud!!!!! I love EVERYTHING you said! I am particularly fond of "I will FEEL a lot better when I lose the rest of this weight". Being over-weight myself, I can definitely say there are times when I just physically feel uncomfortable. And of course you can be happy when you get to your goal weight, but I'm glad you're realizing that you need to be happy with yourself regardless of what you weigh.

You definitely have the right attitude and that's going to get you where you want to go. Everyone deserves happiness and I'm glad you have found yours. :)

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SKINNIESOMEDAY 12/12/2012 12:07PM

   
yes this is a great blog and I think something that I and also alot of others deal with !! very good share and I need to realize and re-think some of my thoughts too !!
Congrats on your awesome journey and I know you will go further.... remember you ARE worth it !!

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BETHIEBOOPS 12/12/2012 10:32AM

    Ohmygosh. YES! YES! YES! YES! to each and everything you said. losing 100 lbs is so so so much more than losing 100 pounds. It's also about losing the baggage that you carried around 60 pounds ago- including feeling like you will only be happy at X weight. I easily judge people who buy the latest and greatest TV/Stereo/Car/House as a way to be happy. I know that in 6 months, they will be eyeing something new, because stuff doesn't make us happy. Yet, we do this to ourselves by putting limitations on how happy we are allowed to be. I am so proud of you for recognising this thinking and dissecting it. You are so very brave look into yourself so honestly! You go girl!

I hope to hear more life updates soon!

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XANGELSTEARZX 12/12/2012 8:58AM

    emoticon

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AMCLELLAN 12/12/2012 7:45AM

    It is very hard to change how you feel. There is always something better. Trying to be happy in the here and now is the best. Just keep trying. You can do it! Being happy will help take the weight off, then there is less self sabotage. Keep up the great work!!!!!

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MYHUBBYISMYHERO 12/12/2012 6:04AM

    Overweight or normal weight, I think it is human nature to say, "I will be happy when such and such happens." You are wise to realize that externals aren't what makes you content with who you are and what you have achieved. Have a great day. Looking forward to hearing about your 1400 calorie days in December.
Sharon

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LRSILVER 12/12/2012 4:43AM

    Great attitude. You will be the change that makes you healthy and happy. Love yourself first. emoticon

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