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Day 2 of no bingeing

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Yesterday I kept coming really close to bingeing with the confused eating (ALL afternoon I kept eating not knowing whether or not I was hungry, or what I was craving, feeling really unsatisfied and confused), but I did not binge. So, even though I probably ate the equivalent of a binge yesterday, I'm still glad that I didn't just fully give up and do a go-to-the-grocery-store-to-buy
-binge-food kind of thing.

Today was weird. I got home from work, did some errands, and then was planning on taking a nap an hour before heading to yoga, since I was just feeling completely exhausted when I got home. One of my errands was the grocery store, and I noticed myself buying kind of unsafe (preferred binge foods, so unsafe for my current mood) foods, without much willpower not to, and half of my mind was planning a binge. I think that is when I decided I'd take a nap, especially because I already started eating some very possible preferred binge foods on the way home, and a bit at home. I think I've been getting around 6 hrs of sleep per night, which is usually ok with me (I prefer 8 hrs, but 6 hrs doesn't usually bother me), but for whatever reason, when I woke up from my nap an hour later, I still felt exhausted, and almost kind of achy. So after debating a bit I decided to just keep sleeping and not go to yoga...I woke up 3 hours later.

Anyway, after that I felt better, but the incident was kind of annoying, because it threw off my schedule. Now I'm having dinner at 10pm and although I think I'll be able to sleep, I am a little worried that I won't, especially because now I feel guilty about not getting more stuff done. I think my plan should just be to go to sleep right after finishing my dinner. Yes, I'm doing this entry while I'm eating dinner...not being mindful :(

Something I am a bit worried about is that because I didn't binge, I have some still unsafe food lying around, like most of a bag of cookies (hey, I ate two of them and then stopped!). I can't bring myself to throw them away, even though having such things around is usually 70% dangerous, 30% ok at this point. Eventually, of course, I want to be able to have a bag of cookies around and be a normal person and not have the urge to eat ALL of them as soon as I'm feeling emotional, but at the moment I am not there. So...not sure what to do, but I think I'll probably just challenge myself even though I know it's a little past my current ability level and keep them around?

Staying Positive.

+ I recognized myself setting up for a binge at the grocery store, and even though I still bought some of the things I prefer to binge on, I didn't specifically buy binge food, which would have included several other things.

+ Instead of fighting tiredness at home, I let myself take a nap, which was probably a good idea since I was in a really vulnerable situation that time. I made the choice to take a nap instead of continuing to eat when I wasn't hungry.

+ I listened to my body and kept sleeping even though I really wanted to go to yoga to unwind mentally. I'm just going to tell myself that I probably would not have enjoyed it very much anyway if I was feeling so exhausted. I've gone when I was realllly tired before, and because my body was struggling, I couldn't really get the mental benefits from it and left feeling kind of frustrated and disappointed. So I hope that giving my body more rest was the right choice.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Everytime you make a healthier choice than you would have before, I count it as a win (just don't reward yourself with cookies).

    My boss studies how people think and make decisions - one of the pieces of advice that he follows (he lost a bunch of weight 5 years ago and has kept it off) and that he tells people around new years (like, he's the scientist the morning show interviews on tv on Jan 1) is to not expect yourself to have cookies around the house and not eat them. He even says not to go down that aisle at the grocery store if you can help it.

    "Normal" people sometimes don't feel like they can have unhealthy choices in the house too. Maybe you can take the cookies to work and share them? It always helps me to bring that stuff into work and at least know that it's "going to a good home." Throwing it away always feels like a crime.
    1292 days ago
    You did so great! As to the cookie question, something I'm trying to get into practicing more often (haven't tried with trigger foods yet, though) is to go into the kitchen, or wherever the food is, when I'm feeling mentally strong and then role play. I imagine I'm having a binge urge and practice my positive coping skills. Seriously don't try this unless you're assured you can get through the practice successfully; otherwise, it won't help.
    1292 days ago
    It sounds like it was a good day. Hopefully your body clock and sleep schedule will work together and provide better rest AND wakeful moments!
    1292 days ago
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