Tuesday, December 11, 2012
I'm struggling a bit with my program and today I had a stressful day at work. Someone I am really close to is seriously ill and then, my father, with whom I barely have a relationship sent money to my husband to give to our kids for Christmas because he said I lost a check last year. (I can be disorganized but I did not lose a check) I don't know why it bothered me so much but it did and I started thinking about how disorganized I have sometimes been in the past and felt lousy about myself . (And my father)
I made a dish of ice cream, put chocolate sauce on it and got into the tub with the dish and a magazine. I took a big bite and then (this is a bit gross) leaned out of the tub, dumped the rest of the ice cream in the toilet (I have a small bathroom) and flushed.
For the first time in a long time, I stopped. I actually forced myself to think about why I would allow someone else to make me feel so bad about myself that I would eat junk when I want so badly to change my health.
A little thing, but it felt big!