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Payback time

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Tuesday, December 11, 2012

This one's for Lizzie 888.

Sometimes a SparkFriend gives you the laugh of the day. I've just seen Lizzie's comment on my feed:

'I think it's about time you won an unpopular blog award... Can you write one about tax returns or something!'

Hm, tax returns. Nope, we have PAYE in the UK. That's 'pay as you earn' . . . through the nose, of course. I haven't done any freelance work for a few years, used to have the headache of filling in tax returns for that and the amount of headache far outdid the amount of money I was getting. Sorting out the tax took me as long as doing the actual freelance job in the first place.

Mind you, you could call fat the tax on eating well rather than wisely. Sooner or later it catches up with you and the Fat Inspector comes knocking at the door. Then it's Payback Time, and you start counting the cost of all that chocolate, hot buttered toast and (in my case) confit duck.

Ah, confit duck. On Christmas Day I'm having eggs benedict for breakfast (home-made Hollandaise sauce with a quarter pound of butter in it), and for lunch parma ham with figs followed by confit duck, a cheese board, Christmas pudding and a quantity of chocolates. I'm fairly confident that after all that, I won't be able to eat much else all day. Indeed, it will take me all day to eat it.

I'll be back on the banana-yellow Ferrari you call the wagon on 26 December, with an image of myself as Claudia Cardinale to spur me on. With any luck, the Fat Inspector will be too busy collecting his cut from everyone else to notice little me having two days off.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • DALID414
    You should read SUNSHINE65s blog from yesterday: A Woman's Random Thoughts, something about a 2lb box of candy makes a woman gain 5lbs.
    1923 days ago
  • CAMAEL100
    PAYE means Pay All You Earn!! Or is that just in Ireland!!
    1923 days ago
  • LINDAK25
    Perhaps we could find this Fat Inspector and tie him up and gag him for the whole of Christmas day (or three) and he won't find us!

    Wouldn't it be nice to be as tall as Claudia Cardinal? Then we would be closer to our goal weight!
    1923 days ago
    I can't figure out why you haven't got your "popular blog" award for this installment yet! I love you blogs. I'm spending an extended period with my Liverpool-based family - Christmas eve through to Thursday 27th - so I'm hoping that tax inspector doesn't realise I'm hoovering up over the tax limit. I do hope not to be paying higher rate tax, though ;-)
    1923 days ago
    Never knew anyone who had your way with words!
    1923 days ago
    Yes, even the Fat Collector has to take a break at Christmas. What good is it to have a yummy holiday if your mind is calculating calories and other hideous numbers. I just had my usual holiday treat - a full scoop of my favorite full fat pepermint ice cream. Tasted wonderful!
    1923 days ago
    I would say we all deserve to have a day off. emoticon
    1923 days ago
    What an awesome description of being fat....I owe much much tax. LOL
    1923 days ago
    You are too good a writer to get an unpopular blog award, even if the subject matter you write about is unpopular. You have a way of making even yucky things sound entertaining and amusing!

    1923 days ago
    : ) I enjoyed your blog. I wouldn't want the tax rates of the UK, but our tax code needs to be tossed out the window and a new one written - one that make those million-billionaires pay much more than I do!
    1923 days ago
    1923 days ago
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