Tuesday, December 11, 2012
For a few months I had a break from the "black cloud" that rolls in monthly and changes how I see things. In fact, one of the main reasons I started this weight loss journey was in hopes of lowering my estrogen so the balance between progesterone and estrogen wouldn't be as much.
It seemed to help for several months - but then here comes the hormonal changes with a vengeance. Slept very little last night - had already recognized the gloom that tries to take over my perception of life. I know this will pass - so it can't be real - but that doesn't really help when it is happening. I try to keep my head above water, but its tough and all the googling leads to suggestions for help before you reach this point. There are breaks - down on the streets praying with the homeless keeps my mind in a better place - but that isn't all day, every day. Its the rest of the time that causes struggles. Reminding myself of things I'm grateful for also helps. So heres some: friends from far away who seem to call at the exact moment I am needing laughter, sp where I find so much inspiration, encouragement, and hope from others, legs and arms that work, a warm house, the ability to think and reason, a Bible that pulls me out of myself, encourages me, and keeps me going, DH that hangs in there through these rough periods, older ladies who show me what it truly means to love others through their examples, those who have made it through this which gives me hope that one day this will be over, adult children who are both alive because of God, DGC who are growing so fast, sisters who are just a phone call away and always love me, a Bible study of elderly people who are so very wise having lived long, a bed when so many are sleeping on the sidewalk.