Tuesday, December 11, 2012
I recently saw a HS picture of myself. Aside from the fact that I knew I was awesome, I never really thought about how much smaller I was. I get it everyone is smaller in HS and such. You're preoccupied with classes, and sports, and girls (or guys) and you eat at lunch because you have a break from classes and then you eat dinner after practice. You are slammed busy, too young to really get a healthy beer gut, and your metabolism is at an all time high.
The funny thing is, I was so self conscious of my weight and size in high school. I never truly went on a diet, but I was never happy with how I looked. I thought I was a fatty. I had a girl that I was terrified would leave me for a more fit person. I dealt with insecurities and a general feeling of self loathing (which subsided in college as put on muscle weight).
Looking back now I am amazed at how thin I was. I am overwhelmed with how small I truly was. Which makes me think...in 10-15 years from now will I look back at myself now and think about how small I was? Will I ever be content in how I look in the time that I look it? Will my best days always be behind me? What a depressing thought to try to strive forward to a better look that will only make me content in the past.
I would love to say that I'm losing the weight to be healthier and for lower blood pressure, better cholesterol and the such. These are factors (being able to move in a racquetball court, not being helpless later in my life) but the truth is my main factor is my vanity. A vanity that appears to only be reached in the rear view mirror....What a downer kinda day....Good Hunting ya'll