oh High School, the "thin" days

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

I recently saw a HS picture of myself. Aside from the fact that I knew I was awesome, I never really thought about how much smaller I was. I get it everyone is smaller in HS and such. You're preoccupied with classes, and sports, and girls (or guys) and you eat at lunch because you have a break from classes and then you eat dinner after practice. You are slammed busy, too young to really get a healthy beer gut, and your metabolism is at an all time high.

The funny thing is, I was so self conscious of my weight and size in high school. I never truly went on a diet, but I was never happy with how I looked. I thought I was a fatty. I had a girl that I was terrified would leave me for a more fit person. I dealt with insecurities and a general feeling of self loathing (which subsided in college as put on muscle weight).

Looking back now I am amazed at how thin I was. I am overwhelmed with how small I truly was. Which makes me think...in 10-15 years from now will I look back at myself now and think about how small I was? Will I ever be content in how I look in the time that I look it? Will my best days always be behind me? What a depressing thought to try to strive forward to a better look that will only make me content in the past.

I would love to say that I'm losing the weight to be healthier and for lower blood pressure, better cholesterol and the such. These are factors (being able to move in a racquetball court, not being helpless later in my life) but the truth is my main factor is my vanity. A vanity that appears to only be reached in the rear view mirror....What a downer kinda day....Good Hunting ya'll
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    " . . . my main factor is my vanity. A vanity that appears to only be reached in the rear view mirror . . ."
    hmmm.....not quite so. The vanity of wanting to look as good naked now as ever, even if looking good naked is an image of the former self, is not a downer. It's a gold ring. Reach for the gold ring!
    1868 days ago
    I completely agree with this post. In high school, I used to think I was bigger than the other girls, but when I look back at those photos, I realize I was not. I was pretty thin myself. I think every teen (and some adults) has that "it's not good enough" mentality. Honestly, I believe it is society that creates and feeds this mentality; kids are bullied nowadays for their weight.

    As for vanity, well, I think we all use this as a factor for our weight loss efforts to some degree, so you aren't alone.
    1869 days ago
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