Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Around 2007 I went to a gym for the first time. I dipped my toes in, so to speak, and started very slowly. Ten minutes here, ten minutes there. Play int he pool with the kids a bit. Not too much. Eventually I think I was going 30-40 minutes, I can't be sure it was so long ago and it was before I started keeping records. I dont even know how much weight I lost, but I know it wasn't much.
Then in spring of 2009 I joined a great gym. Small, nice people and the most important factor, private showers. As I was going to be sweating profusely, I needed the option to shower in private. By the time of my great loss that summer, 100 pounds, I was an absolute machine on the cardio. 45-60 minutes a day. Five days a week. 10,000 strides on the elliptical or 4 miles on the treadmill at a 15% incline in an hour.
Eventually I lost my will to eat right, but never stopped working out. Still hitting my goals at the gym, but started gaining weight back because I have no conscience when it comes to eating, no off switch either.
Then this past summer my nice little gym moved to a different part of the strip mall. On opening day I walked in with my bag on my shoulder and smiled. It looked really nice. Bigger, some new machines. I walked into the locker room and nearly collapsed at the horror. They opted out of the private showers. This was unacceptable. I walked right out to the front desk and cancelled my membership. That was July 1st. I spent 5 months doing nothing for exercise, instead I just began to balloon. Finally last Friday I hit bottom and joined the Y.
For some reason I thought I would be able to start where I left off. All out, balls to the wall, hot sweaty mess of pure cardio kingpin. 45-60 minutes of pure craziness.
I was dead after a few minutes, I kept looking at the clock, what felt like 30 minutes was less than 10. It will take a few weeks to ramp up to where I once was, but I will get there. Then I will finally defeat this bastard that lives inside me that has been trying to kill me for 30 years.
I will not lose, its not even an option or a possibility anymore.