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Fearful Symmetry

Sunday, December 09, 2012

I am fat, cripplingly fat, It has been a constant struggle my whole life.

Friday I finally turned the corner mentally and began anew. Three years ago, with a combination of food tracking and exercise I lost 100 pounds, and I got in a place where I was mentally prepared to start again.

36 hours into my new journey the best Mexican restaurant in town catered lunch for us. One of my coworkers, who knows I love their burritos, asked if I had one. I replied "No, I cant eat that anymore." His response was common "Oh come on, one burrito isn't going to be all that bad for you." I replied with "Would you tell an alcoholic that one drink isn't going to hurt them?"

I see little difference between food, alcohol, or tobacco addictions. They all slowly kill you, The major difference is the public at large has no respect for food addiction. They act as if I have some level of control over this.

When I do have control, it is in fleeting moments and spurts and I may not know how to accept someone's support, what I cannot have is people actively trying to break my will by thinking "Oh, its no big deal."
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • IUHRYTR
    Good answer to the co-worker's urging. I wonder if others' trying to eat what they know we're trying not to is a way for them to justify eating what they know they shouldn't? -- Lou
    1456 days ago
  • AMYNUNLEY
    I believe that food is the most misunderstood of all adictions, and the MOST difficult one to defeat. It's not fair, the human body is so stupid! why does it need to eat every day regardless of consuming thousands and thousands of calories and fat the day before? food addiction is debilitating and insidious. it destroys lives. the reason it's not given the respect of drug or alcohol or even behavioral addictions is that food is legal. food is good. you must have food. NO OTHER addiction can say that. I know you will do it! you're right to reject all negativity or anyone who takes your addiction lightly like it's "no bid deal" and if I've ever done that, i am sorry! I just want you to be healthy and HAPPY. I KNOW you can beat this:) emoticon
    1457 days ago
  • NEWKIM1
    Good for you!!! For those of us with addictive personalities - we are usually all or nothing - and when we fail we throw up our arms and give up. It is that type of thinking that has to change. One bad meal - one skipped trip to the gym will not make or break us - but making it a habit will. It's hard for me to not be all or nothing - but I have had to change that way of thought to get where I am today - and to maintain it I have to just do it not just one day at a time - but sometimes one meal/work out at a time as well - because you will have those meals that are once in a while - I can't throw the rest of the day down the drain and eat like crap for supper too. One Day at a Time!!!
    1461 days ago
  • .DUSTY.
    Great Blog and I totally agree with you!
    emoticon on passing on the burritos! Aye Carumba!
    1461 days ago
  • DJ4HEALTH
    Good comeback. I agree that most people don't know that food is an addition and we need understanding in that area. Just remember to keep your eye on your goal and not what some people think that it should be. And yes one will hurt your body.
    1461 days ago
  • BARCLE
    I like the way you put this - it's a really good way to get the message across and help others understand. I wish you all the very best in your journey - stay strong xox
    1461 days ago
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