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    WINDSONG26   104,688
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Falling

Sunday, December 09, 2012

So I'm going to apologize in advance if this blog brings you down. That is not my intention, but I feel that I might bring some good people down to my level of misery and I don't wanna do that. After I realized I don't have a motivation problem, I have a depressive problem, things just got worse from there. I'll be honest and say I wasn't going to blog at all today. I don't feel like it. I wanna crawl into bed and not move. I know I have a lot going on, but not so much to make me behave this way. I'm in a very deep depression and I have no idea how to get out. And it amazes me how much I rely on strangers and close spark friends for support. I sometimes feel like I shouldn't, but that's one of the things I promised myself a few months ago is that I'd utilize my support system when things got bad and here I am. I'm utilizing it. I don't know what to do anymore. I want this spiraling out of control depression to stop. I find myself falling more and more every day. I know I have to ride it out because there's nothing else I can do, but is there something I can do to shorten it? I don't know. I'm trying to force myself to do things I gotta do like clean the house and exercise and attempting and failing at eating right. I'm tired of doing things I don't want to do. I'm just tired. When will this bloody depression end already??? www.youtube.com/watch?v=
I6cdPeYJh0s
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MSLEO88 12/11/2012 4:36PM

    emoticon my friend. Prayers going up for you during this time. I really do feel like maybe some professional help would do you good. Keep up the great work on your exercise! emoticon

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MOLLZ007 12/10/2012 11:09PM

    My heart goes out to you... I have battled depression for a very long time and I know how paralyzing it can be. Some days you just get so overwhelmed with everything that you dont want to do anything, if that makes sense. Sometimes when I am feeling really depressed and anxious and I know I have 10000 things to do I just sit on the couch and stare off into space...unable to do aanything because of the overwhelming anxiety. It helps me to just make a list... mental or an actual list...of what needs to be done and just do a few things that are the most important, and if that is still too much than just take baby steps. I hope that helps. Im here for you if you wanna talk! emoticon

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LADYBUG546 12/10/2012 1:02PM

    Do something each day you love...if this is crafting, blogging, etc DO IT...it is for you...the cleaning and household jobs well they are always there and we have to all do them...but do things you enjoy...Exercise is important as others have shared...another thing that makes me feel good is putting my make up on or doing my hair , I don't need to be going anywhere but it is a feel good for me.

Thinking of you

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TALENKARR1 12/10/2012 12:54PM

    Have you heard of seasonal disphoric disorder? You have some of the same problems I do And If that is the case you should check into it. Some of the things that help me are
1. unsweetened coco powder in coffe it causes a melitonin and seritonin bost
2. exersize someIt doesn't have to be strenious or even ten min but something to get your heart rate up for your seritonin
3. take a day off. taking a personal day where you don't deal with ANYTHING does more good than you realize no dishes no bills unplugg !!! play games or craft all day
hope this helps

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VALKYRIA- 12/10/2012 12:33AM

    *HUGS* I am not sure what is causing / contributing to your depression, but I will share one thing that seems to help me... morning exercise. I know, it sucks, but just 10 min every morning, first thing, seems to keep me on track so much better with eating for the rest of the day... gets the endorphins flowing etc, etc. Maybe it can help you too. I hope things get better for you soon!!!! Don't be ashamed or embarrassed to seek professional help... counseling and/or medication might make a difference (it has for me). Stay strong.... if you need me, I am always here.

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JENNIEONFIRE 12/9/2012 2:45PM

    My dear we are here for the sole purpose to help one another do not apologize for this blogs...let us console you...you have been going through a rough time and really just need to keep pushing... you may not be doing what you think you should but you have come a long way and deserve to find your happiness... afterall you can't see the rainbow without the rain....take some time to figure ot how to help yourself and we be here

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KOFFEENUT 12/9/2012 2:25PM

    I agree with these guys - a counselor is good; having someone you can be honest with helps, and sometimes medication will also help. Sometimes even doing some VERY small thing can help you refocus - some very small nice thing for yourself, or a very small nice thing for someone - anything you can turn your thoughts to that is positive. Hang in there and know that we are here for you if you need us.

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AMANDACOETZER 12/9/2012 2:24PM

    I'm so glad you decided to blog eventhough you didn't feel like it. Another positive sighn is that you get up each morning and force yourself to do what you should do! Congrats for that. You shouldn't think that you have to handle this on your own. That is Satan's plan. He wants to cut you off from people who care and he is a liar and a thief who wants to steal your joy and then your life! I believe that when he goes to so much trouble to immobilize a person it is because there is a great calling on your life from God. The Lord needs you in His kingdom and Satan wants to keep you from living out your creation goal. Please fight him. You are worth so very much! Jesus gave His life for you! You are precious to Him and to all of us who have read your blog. If you haven't been to a doctor, please go and see one or go back to change your meds if you've been to a dr already. I'll pray for you.

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SUSANELAINE1956 12/9/2012 1:33PM

    Sorry to hear you are having a tough time. It sounds like it's time to see a doctor. It could be a medical reason, or you may need a prescription to help you feel better. emoticon

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DAWNDMOORE40 12/9/2012 1:17PM

    emoticon My prayers go to you at this time when you are hurting and looking for answers. I don't know what your Faith is, but my suggestion would be to talk with a pastor at a local church about your depression. I know depression can be a very serious thing. I have a husband who has gone through it. He takes medication for it, but I still say that he needs the power of God in his life! He has always opposed God since I have been with him. I feel God brought us together for a reason. The same reason I feel God lead me to you! He can heal your soul and give you joy in your heart even with your circumstances. I don't know exactly what your going through, but I can say that I have been where you are, and I didn't have that support. I am glad that you do! Dear God: Please heal this woman's heart, give her back the joy that she is so desperately missing. I pray you give her strength to get out of bed each day, to do the things she needs to accomplish and take it one step at a time. Dear Lord hear my humble prayer! I want you to pray this each and every day and mean it with your whole heart and God will listen! If you need to talk I am always available! God bless you! emoticon emoticon

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PICKIE98 12/9/2012 1:16PM

    I do not know you at all, or whether or not you have seen a doctor for corrective meds for that, but I DO know that regular cardio exercise that gets the heart a pumping, also releases endorphins, which create a sense of well-being in the person. It is not to be used a s a med, but that is the effect of doing hard exercise. If it was me, I would check with my doctor first,,

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