The last two months (II)
Sunday, December 09, 2012
...so did I kill the Russian cookie monster? For the last week, completely! The drawer is still very much at work but when I commit to something I mean it.
I made the mistake of overindulging, not eating enough of the right foods, not eating clean (something I have done since I began in 2010) and using the food issues we deal with in Russia as an excuse to not take action. I was eating to alievate the cultural/financial stress (I am out of a job soon!) that I have been suffering with for the last month and in late November I began to feel it. The sugar wasn't comforting, it wasn't a 'break' I hated myself for eating too many cookies, too much bread *and* my body was telling me it hated it too. I was grouchy, often tired, overall out of it. Then I got on the scale we use to weigh the children...and it was ten pounds heavier.
Oh hell no.
Last week I made some pretty strict rules for myself to help myself "detox," get back to clean eating, help balance my fragile emotional state and therefore be the healthiest (and sane, rich Russian kids test you!) teacher I could be. Here they are:
.Bedtime is 9:00 pm no exceptions, wake up at 5:30 am for ample time to workout before work.
.No refined sugars or wheat *of any kind* or in any fashion---never went this far before.
.ample fruits and vegetables, a nice salad for every dinner
. every fruit & vegetable colour must be represented at some point in the week. A multi-vitamin.
. Two 25 oz bottles of water minimum per day, drinking water is very hard for me and I wasn't drinking nearly this amount. Also keep in mind drinking water straight from the tap makes everyone quite sick here.
.Wear your very best clothes, outfit, hair and makeup everyday. Sound vain or lame? Yes, but doing such makes me feel better and is not the least unusual in this cultural environment.
.try to think positively about the future, don't obsessively check email for updates.
How did all go? Much easier than expected! The first two days I had a persistent cluster headache over my right eye and I had to avoid the kitchen at work all together. No doubt though I felt overall more positive, more energetic, experience clarity etc. The staff at my work (and I suspect most Russians in general) have this crazy notion that cranking up the heat waaaay high prevents illness so in a twisted way caused me to drink more water and fulfill my requirement.
There was something delightful about having a sense of regimented routine in a country/work situation that sometimes makes no sense at at all. But my greatest delight was when I dared the scale on Friday...I lost seven pounds...! I am lucky if I can lose seven pounds in a month!
Now before anyone goes on about how that is an unsafe amount to lose in a week---I agree---I believe it might just be water weight, however, if this is what doing away with wheat does for my body I don't see a lot of wheat in the future! Perhaps I have a food sensitivity or my blood sugar/insulin triggers are that sensitive?
In the upcoming week(s) I am going to do a blog complete with several pictures about what a clean, Russian food haul is (like.) Believe me it takes more effort and rubles than needed in the US or other places I have lived.
Has that happy ending come yet? No. I am bitting my fingers to see if a job I desperately want in Germany will be mine. I have done three interviews in very quick sequence and they have been amazing. I do believe I would make the perfect replacement for the teacher who is departing. ...But that horrible doubtful voice lingers on, especially considering my expensive, devestating Frankfurt experience. I want so badly to have an answer...a 'ja' already that it is tearing me apart on the inside---the pressure is tremendous and I believe my current lifestyle choices are the only things keeping me from all out anxiety and depression.
Thanks for reading this sparklers, I'll update soon :)