Saturday, December 08, 2012
I realized when I started this round of P2 that it was going to take me right through both Thanksgiving and Christmas. I started the VLCD on November 14, so I went into this with my eyes open.
In the past when I was on this protocol, I kept having these moral issues crop up. If I ate something off-protocol, I felt guilty, as if I had sinned. Considering my religious background, I'm kind of prone to that sort of thing anyway! I think that may have contributed to my regaining all of it, in fact.
This time around, I've done some soul-searching. I have actually prayed to God for healing, not only from this obesity, but from whatever caused it in the first place. Doesn't matter whether it's physical, mental, or emotional, I want it healed. I am convinced that it's this prayer that is making this round so much easier and more effective than any previous one.
In addition, I'm not linking my morality to my food consumption this time around. In the past, I've "cheated" because I've been "tempted." Now? If I deviate from the protocol at all, it's a conscious choice beforehand, and not spur of the moment. Like Thanksgiving.
On Thanksgiving, I did want to celebrate the feast with my family and not show up to dinner with twelve shrimps and a package of celery to eat. At the same time, I didn't want to completely gorge myself with all the potatoes and pumpkin pie that one normally would. So I compromised. I had some turkey (white meat), Brussels sprouts, a little gravy, a slice of pumpkin bread with butter, and just *one* of the small decorations from the cake--that was my desert. Even counting the cake decoration, I counted everything up at the end of the day and discovered that I had kept it under 1000 calories.
Tomorrow is our early family Christmas (early because one of my family members is on a 2-week leave from the marines before he gets deployed). I haven't yet decided whether I'm going to partake in the feast or stick to protocol. One thing I do know, though: I'm going to make the decision before I even sit down to eat, and stick to it.
I am certainly giving thanks for the 29 lbs. I've shed so far this round!