When Food Is Just Food
Saturday, December 08, 2012
I'm not sure exactly when it happened, or how, but somehow I've stopped being hungry all of the time. To the point where I have to remember to eat. Talking with my therapist, she was concerned. She said that I shouldn't NOT be hungry, but I told her that I just didn't care if I ate to my range (1700-2200 daily). She questioned if I was restricting. I guaranteed her I was not. I let her know that I think it is a combination of my running again, plus paying attention to my meals to ensure they are balanced and nutritionally packed. I let her know I'm eating more frequently, though less at each meal.
She asked if it was possible if I had been relying on my REAL hunger cues instead of my failsafe hunger cues (STARVING!!! OVERSTUFFED!!). I stopped, thought, and said yes. Then she said "so the food is just the food".
The food is just the food... can it be?
I think there are some signs that support this... I have had a quart of ice cream sitting in my freezer since before Thanksgiving and I've had a half cup. There are two different kinds of ice cream besides that in my freezer and I haven't touched them in weeks. I held an ice cream social for my employees with EVERY topping you can imagine and held it together... even enjoyed some in moderation. I can eat some chocolate at night as a sweet treat, leave the basket sitting next to me, and not feel compelled to devour the entire thing. I've had chex mix in my cupboard portioned out for over a week... and I haven't had any. ANY!
Do I think I'm "cured"? No... I think that would be really deceptive thinking, but I'm taking this reprieve and running with it because it's a blessing to be able to be around food and not feel crazy. Or obsessive. Or guilty. Or ashamed.
I ran for the 9th time since I started running again. Still horribly slow, but I'm out there. Came in under 47 minutes for a 5K for the first time since I started again. Even though I'm way slower, I'm very proud I am back out there... especially when it's sunny and only 25 degrees on December 8th.
Food is just food. Who knew?