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    BETH150   1,826
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On This Day I Thee - DIVORCE!

Saturday, December 08, 2012

*For those who have followed my marriage issues, here is the summary*

On Friday December 7, 2012 I, Beth do declare myself DIVORCED from my husband.

I am divorced from your abuse, your temper, your head games, your meanness, your jealousness, your control, your spite, your negative attitude and any other area of you and/or this relationship that I find harmful to myself in any way. I Thee Divorce my heart, my soul and my being from you!

Because of your health issues that effect you physically & mentally, I will not legally divorce you nor will I physically leave you. In my heart of hearts I know staying with you legally & physically is the right thing to do, so I shall.

But I equally know in my heart of hearts that you have a lot more control of the choices you make then you would want others (myself included) to be aware of.

It is those choices that result in words, actions etc that leave me wounded deeply & make me feel powerless, worthless, hopeless, anger, rage, and a wide breath of many other negative emotions.

I refuse to allow you to intentionally effect me in any of these ways any longer.

I will find my own path through this section of our life and I will walk it without you, for by doing so I know at the end of the path I will find wholeness, peace, joy, gratitude, courage, growth, positivity and health in all aspects of my life and being.

I will continue to take care of you and will allow no harm to come to you that I can stop. I will continue to protect you from yourself unless I myself will be harmed by doing so. I will never look else where for a relationship outside of my vows or would do anything to compromise my own morals and values.

I will continue to live here and cook, clean, shop, pay bills, spend time with you and all the other "wifely" things I have done for over 15 yrs.

Since I have no intention of ever telling you about this divorce I doubt you will ever even notice a difference in our relationship. Unless you look at me some day and notice that I really am OKAY - but you would never do that, as I hold no value to you as a person, a women, a mom, a Grandma, a wife, a friend, a being.

But see that is the grand thing of a divorce. I no longer seek, or need you to hold me at any level of value - as I value me. In doing so ... I Thee DIVORCE!
***********

PS: I thought & prayed over this decision for a very long time. I believe with all of my core of being this is the right choice for both of us. As his wife I "expect" certain things from him for himself & for me from him. He is the happiest when I am not "forcing" him to get well/healthier. As his wife I can not just sit back and watch all he does and say nothing. As his wife I can not just sit back and allow him to treat me the way he does. By "divorcing" him, I am removing myself from those equations.




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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1_AMAZING_WOMAN 12/23/2012 9:27PM

    Countless marriages 'divorce' without divorcing, for various reasons. For those of us who feel we can't actually divorce though, there is a huge price we pay.

Comment edited on: 12/26/2012 1:22:03 PM

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DIANESAV1 12/13/2012 9:01PM

    Stay strong and stay safe.
emoticon

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NELLIEC 12/13/2012 6:46PM

    Since my husband was perfectly healthy, but very controlling, abusive, etc. I did legally divorce him.

You have guts to stay. But what you are doing most likely will be the saving of yourself.

God bless you!!!

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GOPINTOS 12/13/2012 6:22PM

    emoticon You are in my thoughts and prayers :)

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ROSALIEESTHER 12/13/2012 2:18AM

    emoticon emoticon I admire your decision to stay and the reason you are staying. But how very very difficult for you. I hope you find peace and joy within yourself.

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FUNKYJ25 12/10/2012 9:55AM

    Beth - I (sorta) can relate, in that I have been hanging on way too long to my marriage. We need all the support we can get from others! Congrats to you for making this decision.
emoticon emoticon

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CAGMUAHFO2 12/8/2012 11:58PM

    emoticon emoticon We are here for you anytime you need us!!!

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EGRAMMY 12/8/2012 7:25PM

    emoticon

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IAMAGEMLOVER 12/8/2012 4:21PM

    Beth. Sending hugs, and prayers. You are a very strong woman and a better person than I would be. I would have been gone a long time ago.

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SUGARSMOM2 12/8/2012 1:05PM

  beth thoughts and prayers follow you . sending love and comfort your way . stand strong and be careful . you are one amazing woman . good luck to you .

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KOSHIE1 12/8/2012 11:01AM

    I removed myself in the same way. Emotionally. Life got a lot better for me. He did spend more time at first trying to make me angry -- since that is his method of "engagement" -- but that tapered off. I am however, working toward removing myself totally. Good luck to you!

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HOLLYM48 12/8/2012 10:29AM

    Good luck in this struggle. I pray for you to stay strong and not let his negativity harm you. emoticon

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NEWMOM20121 12/8/2012 10:21AM

    emoticon
Never easy.

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1CRAZYDOG 12/8/2012 9:54AM

  HUGS

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JIBBIE49 12/8/2012 9:24AM

    I wish you could remove yourself from his house and get a life of your own. BUT, keep strong. I always remember the saying "CRITICAL PEOPLE HAVE TO CRITICIZE, BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT THEY DO."

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PYNETREE 12/8/2012 9:18AM

    You are a Wise, Strong Woman. I wish you strength.

emoticon May you have a beauiful divorce! emoticon

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TATTER3 12/8/2012 8:27AM

    I wish I could do something that would seem amazingly supportive. I just so appreciate your honesty, your heart, your ability to survive. You have my prayers and heart.

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PATTYKLAVER 12/8/2012 7:21AM

    You go, girl! Good for you for putting yourself first.

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MRE1956 12/8/2012 7:03AM

    emoticon

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DESERTDREAMERS 12/8/2012 6:51AM

    You go, Grrl!

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SLIMMERKIWI 12/8/2012 4:38AM

    emoticon

Kris xx

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LINDA! 12/8/2012 12:54AM

    emoticon

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FITANDFIFTY2 12/8/2012 12:47AM

    emoticon Good for you! You are a very smart and strong woman!! I have been in your shoes and it is a rough life, lots and lots of stress and sadness. I wish the very best for you! Hugs to you!!

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STORMIWEATHER 12/8/2012 12:08AM

    My heart goes out to you Beth. Stay strong, God bless.

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