I have this tendency to start a blog...and then delete it lately. I'm up to counting 4 in the last 2 weeks. And there are various reasons I do this, but it's mainly because sometimes I get to thinking that since I am steady and stable, no one is going to want to read what I write...and other times I am thinking that maybe I am coming off too harsh in what I'm writing... because after a few years of reading some things, or observing things, I can get a bit pissy and it comes off in what I write.
So instead of being negative, I just hit "delete" and then move on with my life... leaving my Sparkfriends who actually read what I write and who have stood by me over the years wondering "where the heck is Annie?" Sorry about that guys.
So today, I am putting out an observation that I have had for a long long time. To share it with you and see what you think.
The other night, I watched a 2 hour story about "The 600 Pound Mom". I usually don't watch these kinds of shows but this compelled me because of this doctor helping this woman. The doctor's goal was to get her down to 500 pounds so that she could have bariatric surgery.
The man set her up with a 700 calorie diet - bed scales to monitor her weightloss - constant one on one attention and support.
Did she lose weight? yes she did...but not without difficulty. This difficulty came in the mood swings and diet rage. (something we all can relate too - at least I can, and it compelled me to watch the show more)
Did she follow the doctors order? for a while - heck she lost 100pounds! but with her success also came complacency...and she began cheating the system thinking that just because her "watch-dogs" (ie, her children and the doc was not there 24/7) were not watching her and she was successful, she began to sneak eat. (ahhh....another point I can relate to!! so I keep on watching the show to see how she fares with her weigh-in)...
The bed scales broke eventually.
Weigh-in day at the hospital came.
They got her there and weighed her on a special bed....and to everyone's shock (especially the poor doctor who staked his reputation on his regimine) she gained back over 100 pounds she had lost in the time period of 4 months. She was eating approximately 7000 calories a day.
They thought she was closer to 500 pounds...but she thought she was smarter than the science and used a sprinkle powder on her meals to counter-act the calories. (aahhhh, the quick fix! Been there, done that method too)
To say that the doctor was devastated is an understatement. To say this woman was devastated and shocked is mild. But it was what it was and it was evident that she had a serious serious problem...and eventually, a doctor was found that would do bariatric surgery on her at 689 pounds.
(I'm still watching the program . . and now I'm thinking this: this woman is screwed. I'll get to why later).
So they do the surgery, they get her in rehab....and she leaves it. Flat out discharges herself. Why??? Because they made her work. They made her exercise. They wanted to make her WALK! for Pete's sake! To HELP her. (But evidently, she had her quick fix right?)..and she wanted to go home.
Long story short. She died a month or so later. It was too late for her to be helped.
NOW - here is my take on this whole thing - and it was just touched upon ONCE during the WHOLE ENTIRE PROGRAM by a nutritionist/psychologist lady:
This psychologist came on to say that her issues were too much to handle and if she didn't get help with resolving those long suffering issues, she would never be successful with her weightloss.
GIVE THAT WOMAN A PRIZE!!!!
DING DING DING DING!!!!!
A 15 second blip on the tv summed up this entire woman's crisis in a nutshell.
And now - all you Biggest Loser Watcher's out there: what's the turning point for most of the contestants on the show???? Anyone? Buehller? Anyone?
It's when Jillian Michaels is yelling in someone's face about something in their past - confronting their demons - coming face to face with the HARD STUFF that happens in life... and instead of bottling it up inside, they HAVE TO confront it and SAY it because Jillian and Bob aren't going to go away until they do.
It's a process.
It is mental.
It is digging in deep and saying out loud that things hurt, that there has been loss and pain... and that you are worth fixing.
No one is going to do that except you.
Not a pill... Not a doctor prescribing a pill... not a trainer making you do squats... Not a package of food that is delivered in the mail is going to fix things.
The work happens in your head and in your heart, and healing and finding that you are worth loving and being loved.... THAT is where things start to change.
Why did I go and give you this 600 pound mom's story? Because maybe, just maybe, if they started talking and counseling while she was eating those 700 calorie meals, MAYBE she could have made it and stayed at 500 pounds and MAYBE she'd be alive today.
Go find it and watch it online. You will see what I mean while you are watching it.
Why and I telling you about inner demons today? Because more than not, you probably have them...and MAYBE that is what is holding you back in being successful in this whole weightloss journey.
I tried to lose weight for 20 years...and then I learned/realized what my demons were when I hit 35 and had 3 beautiful kids to get healthy for. They deserved a healthy mom with less demons...and while those demons still lurk in the darkest corners, my light is stronger than their darkness.
They say that 95% of people who lose weight eventually gain it all back.
That makes only 5% successful at maintaining.
My wish for you this holiday, it to start your journey on the inside, look deep at what's there, and together, let's make that successful maintaining stat grow... and prove that it can... and WILL be done.