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My "WOW! Okay, Maybe Now I Belive it!" Moment

Friday, December 07, 2012

My BFF and I have been insperable Besties for 17 years.

In those 17 years, she's always been "that person" to me who I always looked up to and secretly wished "GOD, I wish I had her body!!" Okay, not really so secretley, I've told it to her face MANY times over the years LOL. She's always been that effortlessly skinny friend, who makes anything look good, always looks put together, and never has to worry about her weight. JEALOUS!!! ;) emoticon I've also always secretly thought to myself, "she's so tiny, there's NO way I'll ever be as small as her."

So, last night after our GNO dinner, I went back to her house to "shop" in her closet for something to wear for some photos I am having taken on Sunday. As she throwing all these itty bitty clothes from her closet at me, I kept squawking at her "Those are too dang tiny!! They will never fit!! Put those back, I'll ever fit into your jeans!" She'd scoff and roll her eyes at me (as best friends do) and say "but Stacey, you ARE tiny!!" To which I would scoff and roll my eyes dramatically back and say "NO way!" Whole heartedly believing that even after losing as much as I have, and despite fitting back into MY OWN skinny jeans, it was completely unfathomable to me that I might actually fit into HERS.

To boot, the jeans she was having me try on were Rock & Republic brand, size 28. First of all, those kinds of swanky brands NEVER fit me!! They are cut for stick figures, not girls with curves. And secondly, I laughed so hard at her because there was NO WAY I have EVER been a 28!! My hips are WAY too wide...

So, finally, and against my will, I agreed to try on her baby jeans. Just to prove her wrong emoticon As I'm undressing, the whole time I'm shaking my head and thinking to myself "no way, uh-uh, ain't gonna happen, NOPE!"

One leg in.... "Okay, SO what, BIG whoop, I got my calves in. That doesn't mean anything. I'll never get these things over my thighs, let alone get them up over these big ole' hips!!"

Both legs in, and sliding up over my thighs.... "UMMM?? HUH?!?!? Well, that's interesting.... MUST be the cut... Still, they will NEVER zip. Just you watch."

"HOLY COW!!! They are over my butt?????!!!!!"

"Big Deal! They'll NEVER zip, and even IF they do, I'll surely look like a can of busted biscuits!"

Buttoned, and zipped???????.... "HOLY ______________________________

Not only did they zip, but they must be space pants or something because they even made my butt look flat!! SAY WHA!?!?!?!? What IS this trickery!?!?!

I was absolutely speechless. Bestie was just sitting there with a ridiculous ear to ear grin jumping up and down laughing at me. Much to my dismay and utter SHOCK, those things actually FIT!! I was in my bestie's jeans!! I know it seems trite, and shallow, and probably pretty stupid to most people, but this is one of those things to me that was just unfathomble! Never in my life would I EVER think I'd EVER be as small as her! EVER! I always WISHED I was, and wanted to be, but it always seemed like such an unreachable goal.

Bestie says "SEE! What did I tell you! You ARE small!"

"Okay.. FINE, maybe I believe it now." emoticon

Afterwards, I had to stop and take a moment to really digest what had just happened. I had a big epiphany moment! All of this time I've been sitting here hating on myself, talking down to myself, looking in the mirror and not seeing "the real" me. I've been convincing myself that depsite all my hard work, the person starring back at me was still the old "fat me." It took literally wearing someone else's pants to show me just how skewed my perception of myself really is!

Now, this won't seem significant to anyone but me.... But way back when I started on this journey 4 years ago, I said to myself if I ever reached my goal weight/size I would reward myself with a pair of jeans from Buckle. Never in my life have I spent more than $30 on a pair of jeans, and the very thought of spending $100 plus really freaks me out... But for this, my ultimate goal I said I would splurge and treat myself to ONE pair of really nice jeans.... So, as a gift bestie gave me two pairs of her jeans. The Rock & Republic, and a pair of Silver Jeans from Buckle. LOVE THAT GIRL!!

When I left her house I was over the moon. I tried explaining all this to my hubby and he just looked at me like I had two heads and said "So WAIT! You still think you're fat!? You ARE crazy!!" LOL gotta love husbands...

Here they are :)
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