Friday, December 07, 2012
Starting off with a few gratefuls, I have not gained weight and I'm a bit below my goal. I have a husband and children who love me.
The reason I don't post much here is I'm so terrible at trying to express myself and my mind goes in so many different directions at once it is hard to put it down here.. My mind is in a turmoil over food. How stupid is it that something so simple and yet so complicated rules my life. Well more like I let it rule my life. I was doing good for so long but for the last couple of months I have mostly been eating junk food, it is all I want. I am diabetic and many days I feel sick from all the sugar. I feel so tired and I don't have the energy to exercise. I now have a yeast infection. I have got myself into a viscous circle that I can't seem to make myself get out of. How pitiful am I that I won't help myself. I wish I could be locked away from all the food. How bad does it have to get before I'm willing to help myself? Some days I get up positive to make changes but it doesn't last. Other days I couldn't care less. I need to care. Sorry for this negative post but I need to talk about this. I'm going to try my hardest this day to change my thoughts and feelings and try and be more positive. I'm going to do some exercise and try and control my eating. I promise to come back and say how the day went.