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    MAMA3MANY1   5,109
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4,000-5,499 SparkPoints
 
 
I'm struggling

Friday, December 07, 2012

There you go, I've said it.

I'm struggling.

I'm very tired, I'm ashamed of having eaten a whole 100g of chocolate covered almonds yesterday in addition to 3 granola bars (no, not the healthy kind) and 50g of Hershey's (I don't even like Hershey's !!).

I just don't feel like I'm getting anywhere with anything.
I keep tidying up and cleaning and then need to do it all again.
DH came home very stressed and I stupidly absorbed his stress.
My kids are great kids but it's also stressful home educating 4 kids under the age of 8.

And Christmas.
No one else chips in to help. It's all up to me.

Last night I went online and ordered a new The Firm DVD, a Geneen Roth book, a bendy doll making book.
All money I shouldn't have really spent.
But waiting for those things in the post gives me something really positive to look forward too.

Couldn't face protein powder in my oatmeal this morning. I know I need the protein but I've been having it for the past 3 months even though I love plain unsweetened oatmeal and don't really like it with protein powder.

Oh well, I've done the dishes, put them away and put on a load of laundry. I also got everyone dressed so it's a good start.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROSALIEESTHER 12/9/2012 3:53AM

    I am so sorry that you've been having a hard time. I'm very pleased that you wrote about it. The first step toward change is acknowledging that there is something you want to change.

I hope you keep writing about your state of mind and what you are doing. This is one of the best tools on sparkpeople. It takes real guts to use it so openly.

You will be rewarded with self awareness.

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ANNEMARGAR 12/7/2012 7:43AM

    Is there any way you can get your trigger foods out of the house? If you only have healthy foods around - that is what you will have to reach for when you are stressed. I have never heard anyone say they were stressed out from eating too many carrots and hummus :) Hang in there - keep sparking!!!

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TRAVELGRRL 12/7/2012 6:05AM

    I'm sorry to hear you are struggling -- the holidays are especially hard. Can you forego perfectionism in the name of sanity? Even if your kids don't decorate "perfectly" can't you have them help? They will be so proud of themselves!

Can you find some protein in the morning that you DO like? Losing weight is hard and eating something you don't like is just craziness! There are ALWAYS options and alternatives.

I understand your need to vent; I can't imagine having four kids much less home schooling them. I'm sure you fall dead last in the list of priorities. Is there any way your husband can take over once a week to give you an afternoon or evening off? A little "you" time? Regardless, keep sparking, it really helps to keep your focus, even if you are struggling...

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GHOSTFLAMES 12/7/2012 5:16AM

    ONE DAY AND ONE STEP AT A TIME WE WILL DO THIS WE ARE WORTH IT. REMEBER TO TRACK DAILY YOUR FOOD AND FITNESS TO BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE.
I HAVE BEEN HAVING DAYS LIKE THAT FOR YEARS NOW YES YEARS NEVER LEFT SPARK BUT NEED TO GET MY MIND SET AND THE LONGER WE WAIT THE HARDER IT IS.
GOOD LUCK ON YOUR SPARK JOURNEY WE ARE ALL HERE FOR YOU IF YOU NEED ANYTHING AT ALL JUST ASK TAKE CARE, CHAR

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