Thursday, December 06, 2012
This day sucked. Consequently, I've decided I need to cheer myself up (and on) by taking some time to list out some NSV's. Pardon me while I toot my horn.
TOOT TOOT!! The shirts that I've been wearing to work out have room in them now.
TOOT TOOT!! I've gone from running a painfully slow 15:36 to a slightly less painfully slow 13:39 this evening... and that is only 8 runs in to being back.
TOOT TOOT!! I had the crappiest day I've had in a long time and I didn't eat to cope.
TOOT TOOT!! I went running to relieve my stress tonight instead of eating out.
TOOT TOOT!! I'm starting to notice patterns to the "why's" behind my eating.
TOOT TOOT!! I've done a better job at not catastrophizing things in my life.
TOOT TOOT!! I've made and brought my lunch almost everyday for the last two weeks.
TOOT TOOT!! I've started to find a reasonable cut off time at work since I know the rest will be there tomorrow.
TOOT TOOT!! I haven't given up on myself and I've been consistent. It's been the hardest thing... to give myself grace, not hold myself to my old standards, to compare where I was and where I am. To allow myself a 25 minute workout because I'm exhausted and don't want to push to 30 minutes. To enjoy a scoop of ice cream with my staff and feel satisfied. To not swing all over God's green earth with my calories intake. To never let myself get too hungry. These are all really big, really hard, REALLY important things in my journey back.
It's been kinder and gentler this time. Not as regimented, not as unforgiving. I'm really, really proud of myself... I wish it hadn't taken me so long to try again, but my journey was different this time around. New dimensions, new discoveries and I'm hopeful. Amen.