Thursday, December 06, 2012
Since I have been sick for a week now, I actually have more time since I haven't been trying to fit exercising in to my schedule. More time to contemplate about things. I know there are a lot of things that I post on here that may not seem to have anything to do with losing weight...but for me it does. My body is the only home that my mind has and I don't seem to have the ability to make improvements to one without improving the other. When my brain gets bored, I eat, when I get upset, I don't eat anything at all. When I get stressed or depressed, I never know which I will do, eat or starve. So by getting some of the thoughts out of my head on here, it helps mentally, which in turn helps physically.
Its a vicious cycle either way, how I handle it decides which it will be.
I think I am finally coming out the other side of my most recent run of anxiety, thank you God! When it gets bad and my depression decides to chime in to the party in my head at the same time, all I can do is keep my head down, let it ride me, and try to make it to the end of each day. Somehow over the last year or so, I have figured out that it is easier when I go with it instead of fighting so hard against it...I am definitely more gentle with myself, if I have a bout of crying or whatever, I give my permission to feel and express it.
I think we are finally catching up a little bit financially, it helps that my son is living back with us and helps out, and my stress has diminished a little because he is where I can keep an eye on how he is doing...yesh, he is going to be 22 in a couple of days but there are a few things about him that I am concerned with. Also, his girlfriend seems to have moved out...not sure what is going on there, but I really think it is for the best.
I am SO looking forward to going grocery shopping this week, I plan to get all sorts of veggies and healthy food to get back in to the house. While it is cheaper in the long run to eat healthy, there are times that a full tummy is priority. I think our financial rough spot stresses me out more because it is something that I have not had to deal with in several years. I feel like I got spoiled by having the ability to go to the store and get whatever groceries that I wanted when I wanted. I tried buying some of the premade hard boiled eggs and a salad for work yesterday and everything just tasted....off. Even this morning, I stopped and got a container of the cut up fruit with grapes and cantaloupe and stuff, but it tastes funny, not bad, but just not quite right. I though it may be because I am sick, but I haven't noticed anything off that I have made at home. Maybe it is all in my head, or maybe I got used to not eating so many preservatives and junk. I even remembered to boil a dozen eggs yesterday that I was going to keep in the fridge and use them for a couple of days, but I forgot them on the stove and they kinda burned, lol, its not the first time that I have done that with eggs, and I don't do it with anything else! So into the trash they went and no eggs for me today :(
I am looking forward to being over my cold and get back outside walking/jogging! I have managed to drop those extra couple of pounds I put back on a couple weeks back, and have been status quo since then so I cannot wait to start moving in the right direction, although, I will admit that the pain in my feet is MUCH less since I have been off of them.
What to do, what to do...
Remember that one step and then the next will get you where you are going!