Thursday, December 06, 2012
I just realized how long it's been since I've bothered to write. I guess I didn't feel I had anything worth saying!
I'm still here and I'm still taking this one day at a time. I haven't lost any weight, but I haven't gained any either, so I'll take it.
I got on the scale the day after Thanksgiving and I will not get back on until January. Holidays can be a time where I beat myself up for a lot of things. Mainly for letting another year slip by with no change on the scale, for all the extra eating through the holidays, and then for letting the holidays slip by stressing over them instead of enjoying them.
I will not do that this year. I had a wonderful Thanksgiving with my family. I really didn't over do it with the food, but then again, after cooking for this mob I was too tired to eat it! ha!
I had a friend come into town a few days after Thanksgiving and I got very little exercise in and healthy eating was hit and miss. I didn't worry about any of it, and I enjoyed our visit. She's my oldest and closest friend and I only get to see her maybe once a year. I will not spend that time stressing. The day after she went home I came down with a stomach bug. Not fun, but better now.
Now here it is December and there will be baking, a party or two, and another family get together. Several years ago I really lost my Christmas spirit. It used to be my favorite time of the year, but it always seems now to be a time that gets me down, and I try to fake it for my daughter. I don't want to "fake it" this year. I want to take the time to be thankful for my many blessings and take the time to enjoy the traditions and the time I get to spend with my daughter. I'm grateful that she is as old as she is and still believes in all the magic and I want to enjoy that.
My weight might not be moving right now, but as I look back on this year I look back on a lot of lessons learned, and a lot of blessings that I've had. Sure, there have been bumps in the road, there has been stress that i cannot control, but I can control how I react and how I let it make me feel. I tell my daughter all the time that happiness is a choice. No one can make it for you, but you are always in control of how you feel. Don't let others define how you feel about yourself or your level of happiness..take that control and decide for yourself how you want to go through this life.
Every year I say, oh this is going to be MY year this is the one where I am finally going to reach my goals. Every year i feel disappointed in myself for not reaching my weight loss goal. Well, you know what? 2012 WAS my year. Okay, I didn't reach my weight loss goal, but there were other goals I DID reach. There were times of joy, times of happiness and memories that I wouldn't trade for the world. Will 2013 be my year? Yep! It will be another year filled with memories and blessings. Will I reach my weight loss goals in 2013? I don't know. I do know that I believe I can. I know that I believe in myself and in my power to do so. Will I make the choices that get me there? I can't say. It is entirely in my hands to make choices that take me on the road to weight loss, or to make choices that take me farther away from my goals. I will probably make a little of both those choices. Ultimately, I sure I hope I choose more often than not to travel the road of health. It's in my power, it's up to me.