Thursday, December 06, 2012
I normally try to write positive blogs entries but as of late (a few months especially) I have been having a lot of trouble. I have been hovering the 160's (which I know is not too bad, still overweight, but much lower than my over 200 high). I have been maintain this number but it has been difficult and I am REALLY struggling. I really enjoy exercise and I am keeping that up no problem. I have not been running as much with the cold temps and short days in full swing, but I have been substituting other forms of exercise. The real problem I have been having is food.
I know that this is a common problem for many of you and I am not alone but it is really disheartening. I cannot stop eating, even when I know I am not hungry. It is not a matter of making healthy food for me as I love fruits and veggis and cooking for myself. Its the cookies sitting right outside my office that I cannot resist. It is the food at my house (bars, veggis, fruit, whatever is around) that I continue to gorge on. It is the not being able to stop when I know I have had enough.
I have tried so many things. I try to keep things in smaller amounts around my house and do not bring goodies in (I only eat them out). I try to get enough sleep. I try to manage my stress. I tried to keep a calendar on the fridge to motivate me showing my successful days of not binging. I try to eat filling foods in good portions spaced evenly thoughout the day. The list goes on.
I am just frustrated. I feel like I have no will power. I am afraid of gaining the weight I have lost. I still have a way to go to my healthy weight but honestly, at this point, I am afraid I will not be able to sustain the weight I have lost even though I have made some great lifestyle changes.
I am proud of the progress I have made and I am trying to look at that. I have so much to be thankful for, including amazing support from my friends (spark and non-spark) and family which I know is not the case for everyone. Thanks for listening to my venting session and good luck to all you in the same boat as me and who are making this journey with me with their own obstacles. Most of all THANK YOU for your continued support!