Thursday, December 06, 2012
But on the bright side... I did not eat!
My birthday was less than stellar. I hoped my husband would do SOMETHING to celebrate me yesterday. Nope.... He got angry over something and didn't talk to me all night. We never do that. So up all night crying... Which isn't a me thing to do either....
This morning I asked him before he left for work what was up. He told me, he was mad because I apparently make my FB posts to seem as if I do everything by myself. So I asked what about my post was untrue and made him feel that way. He says it is implied... I cannot help if he takes me saying that I "cleaned, cleaned and rearranged getting ready for Christmas, went to basketball game ( gack, Tigers ate some Panthers for dinner), grocery shopping and now trying to figure out what to make me for my birthday dinner that the family won't argue about. " it was my day.... In a boring little nutshell. Alone, as usual could have been at the end, but it wasn't.
Not my fault he took offense at me doing things myself, because I have no choice... He works long hours... That is just life. I didn't apologize, I am totally that "I'm sorry" person... Just to make peace. Well, I am not at peace and that is why I ate snacky foods. It just seems like I am made to feel guilty about having feelings, knocked down for voicing them and then chided for when I keep them to myself because I don't know how to respond to his reaction.
1Peter 5:7.... That is me today.
I voiced my hurts and pain.... It is out there. On the one day he hadn't yet ruined for me... Maybe I put to much pressure on him, maybe I am hurt for the way he treats and for what he said about our wedding day and anniversary (to his ex, behind my back--which became all my fault somehow, still trying to figure that one out). I know we need to talk, me the Marraige counselor.... Well not everyone is perfect, things worth having are worth fixing and fighting for.
On a happy note... I am down another .7 pounds! That is almost three pounds since I bought the wii fit, 5 days ago! Woo hoo
focusing on that, my kids and Christmas!!