80,000-99,999 SparkPoints 84,157

Boredom and the 'great eat urge' :-(( Disruptions in our circle of friends...

Thursday, December 06, 2012

emoticon This week has been WEIRD!

First of all there is STILL extreme unrest between our little circle of some 15-20 friends that get together almost every Friday or Saturday for hors de'ouvres and drinks then out to eat at a restaurant that the hostess selects and makes reservations for...or a dine in where the hostess cooks the main dish and everyone is assigned side dishes.

I usually look forward to this weekly event and the hubs and I have participated in this ritual for over 20 years, pretty much the same circle of core friends with a few add ons and drop offs from time to time.

Every since the election there has been unrest...much reflected in the same way that the country over all has reflected.

Our best friends bought a little lake cabin back in Iowa (our home state) a few years ago and they go back there to spend the entire summer. Our group has carried on the get togethers with the people that are still here, even as we all seem to come and go during the summer.

Usually about 10-12 of us manage to meet each week, or every other week. But this year especially has had some rocky rumblings and it's always about politics. About half of us are Republicans and about half us are Democrats. I've written a blog or two about some of the blow ups that in spite of my insistence NOT to talk about...always seemed to bleed into the dinner conversation. Most of us are self employed, or were...one of us is a Criminal Lawyer (still in practice) and several still work in management or mid management positions.

Soooo you are bound to have strong opinions from strong personalities flying around from every angle.

I really thought that after the election things would settle down. They have not. Especially from our friends that have returned back to FL from Iowa (Demo) and one particular other wife (Rep) of the lawyer. There have been several spates YET AGAIN...over... emoticon politics which is has been voted on (democratic process...right?) and shelved as verboten subject. emoticon Me...being the sensible one usually manages to stay across the room and out of the line of fire...BUT...it still ruins the evening when these negative vibes are being hurled about.

Last Saturday we were having a lovely dinner at one of our friend's houses and AGAIN these two ladies got into it. This time it wasn't about politics but about property insurance. The lawyer's wife made a back handed remark about how she was SICK of paying more for her premium to cover homeowners who went into the state appointed property insurance program that wouldn't be able to otherwise secure insurance. She happened to be outnumbered because on the other side of her sat a high powered property insurance executive that told her in no uncertain terms this was the way things were and just because SHE didn't like it didn't mean that the world emoticon was going to change on her accord.

Again...I was sitting wayyyy down the table from these rabble-rousers so I didn't get into the jest of the argument..but it ended with the wife of the lawyer, getting up and walking out. She took her marbles and went home! emoticon

She DID not thank the hostess for the lovely meal, she did not say good bye or even make some as semblance of an excuse for leaving to her fellow dinner mates...just huffed out. emoticon emoticon No manners, no courtesy...just spoiled childish behavior.

I see this being played out on a larger scale in Washington D.C. It's just a travesty for democracy and a sad sad day for the crinks that it has put into our lovely circle of friends that just can't let go of their bigotry, their prejudices, or their sore loser tactics.

If this keeps up...she might find herself on the outside of a group of friends that she has enjoyed for over 20+ years. I want to just shake the stuffing out of her and yell WAKE UP and SMELL the coffee! emoticon

Instead...it makes me jumpy and wondering if some explosions are going to happen during my Annual Girls Christmas Craft party scheduled for December 12, 2012.

One bad vibe from someone who can't face reality is a real 'buzz kill' for the entire group..we aren't having it! emoticon

In the meantime this general uneasiness amongst the group has left me feeling agitated. I've been the lone gal at the consignment gallery because the hubs is out working a construction project that he committed to last summer.

The gallery has been dismally slow this week. Two days with zero sales. When this happens I get so bored...I keep thinking of the ninety million projects I have at home and SHOULD be doing rather than just sitting in an empty gallery cooling my heels.

Ugghhhh retail life is the ultimate test on patience. I have none...between these recent group rumblings and the scarcity of sales I find that the moment I get home I want to go into 'munch' mode. Last night I had an enormous bowl of popcorn and added nuts to it to boot. BAD choices for BAD state of mind. Boredom and general uneasiness send me spiraling.

Of course it could have been a WHOLE lot worse...thank goodness I threw out the left over pecan and pumpkin pie with cool whip days before!

One small victory for woman~kind! emoticon emoticon

I am still using my fitbit every day and doing well with it. I'm logging and tracking food and drinking gallons of water...hopefully things will settle down with this group..OR...a public stoning may occur...stay tuned...it's NEVER dull in Bobbi~s~ville!

On a side note...one direct conversation I had with this before negative but now EXTREMELY negative friend was that she was just going to take her money and leave the country...I very kindly offered to help her pack...it's really THAT bad! emoticon
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    1925 days ago
    I am so sorry you are having to go through this, and learn the lesson of how to tell someone, NO! In this case, STOP! The vibs are going to be intense unless all of you come to a true understanding! You are right, it is going on all over the world! As little groups, we can't even keep our own happy vibes together, NO WONDER there are wars going on all the time! NOT just the actual wars, but with in companies, families, nations, etc. etc. "Seeing" everyone in peace & joy, can be quite difficult, but NOT impossible! I will send peace vibes to your group, (can't hurt!) Sometimes it is easier to help when one is not so emotionally involved! As the song goes..... Bibbity Bobbity Boo! emoticon
    1925 days ago
    Sounds like you've got some good solutions here.

    TV used to be calm and matter of fact, i.e. Walter Cronkite. But now, the pundits whip up emotion, I even saw one being interviewed once, and she demonstrated how she would like to deliver her info ( normal, calm and polite), and the way she had to: agitated and outraged. The agitated and outraged seems to boost ratings.

    I think that "adults" are mirroring the emotional tenor. And it's often on both sides of the political spectrum.

    And maybe this poor lady has something else unresolved going on in her life. and politics is a way to vent her anxiety.

    So the challenge for those of us who believe that we're aware is to move through all this with grace and dignity. I do not like conflict, either: don't feel that it is sport to end up with voices raised, so can understand your distress. Who in the group has a lot of gravitas? Maybe that person can step in as needed.

    And on the boredom sitting in the shop problem, is there anything that you can do to fill the time? Knitting, reading?

    Bless you.
    1926 days ago
    When people think they are right, they become unreasonable and place the blame on the other person. If you already offered to help her pack, do you have to invite her to your party?
    1927 days ago
    Wowza. I hear you when you talk about the negative vibes, that's the hardest part for me. I can accept that I have friends that have very different political views, but when I listen, I realize they care about this country as deeply as I do and that much of the negative vibe comes from fear. I figure it's not the first time the world has lived with uncertainty and it won't be the last. I agree that this all mirrors what is going on in Washington and wonder...if I can't work this out with my friends, how will the politicians ever work it out?
    1927 days ago
    Well not being American I didn't vote but of course hear more than enough about your elections via tv, paper etc. One person that I know from spark that has gone to FB more than spark has become very verbal about the election and still is going on about it, I don't care what your affilation is, but I don't see a need to bash anyone, I more or less said that figured once the election was over the Obama bashing would stop, that if you want to change something do it in a sensible way that just maybe will make a diff. Anyway I just unfriended her as can't be bothered. So can see totally where you are coming from geesh.
    1927 days ago
    Ohhhh this situation sounds very stressful indeedy... and yep... those types of events tend to set off emotional eating. Hope all goes well with your annual get together. I always enjoy hearing about the fun things you craft together. Sending good vibes your way. Hugs, R.
    1927 days ago
  • MIRAGE727
    After living in the DC Metro area all my life, I welcomed my move to Florida with open arms 4 years ago. I have found that most are clueless about the "running" of our government. They get their expert info from the media! NOT! I don't even listen to the "polibabble" any more and walk away from it. Politics and religion are always standard taboo topics at a gathering...especially when there's a possibility of good wine being wasted!
    1928 days ago
    My retail shop didn't make it, sadly(too tiny of a town) but I remember those long, boring no customer days.

    As for the political craziness etc-I'm married to one of those people that knows everything and your stupid if you disagree. I try not to take him out in public.

    My friends are also on very opposite sides. One accused my republican friends of being racist simply for not voting democrat. My republican friends are equally vile when it comes to politics. I refuse to discuss politics with any of them but am appaulled by their continued nastiness. I, too, hoped it would settle after the election.

    My extended family are on different sides of many issues and can discuss their opinions using actual information(as long as my husband isn't involved) and it can be interesting and imformative. But they are nasty about it and they don't insist that everyone agree with them.
    1928 days ago
    What a difficult and awkward situation. I guess there are a few suggestions that I have seen or used myself:
    1. Include in the invitation: This party is for all our friends of all political persuasions. Most conversation is expected to be general, inclusive and social! (Movies! books! vacation plans! kids! etc). If you can respectfully discuss political issues with people who don't agree with you, great. If not, either don't discuss politics, or have your own party with friends who think alike.
    2. Host steps in to intervene when the discussion gets heated, and tells the arguers that they are making others uncomfortable and they need to change the topic. (I actually have had great success with our group's most notorious political extreme arguer by firmly changing the subject)
    3. Host appoints a moderator to control the discussion and/or break up arguments (my book club does this regularly and routinely.)
    4. Don't invite the arguing gadflies. See them separately if you still want to be friends with them.
    1928 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1928 days ago
    Yeah, and I think some of those negative/ultra-conservative "types" have already made the move, and to my beloved northern Ecuador. Ugh!

    On another note, to assuage the boredom, you might pop over to Stephanie's FitBit blog and offer her some words of encouragement:

    1928 days ago
    Retail would definitely try my patience. Maybe walk in place during the slow times during the day?
    1928 days ago
  • DS9KIE
    thats tooo bad your friends letting disagreements get in the way of having fun. Your there to get away from it all and your not.

    Sorry your sales aren't going to week maybe they will pick up soon, Don't do it and eat the whole house...lol When I'm stressed I WANT CHOCOLATE. So your not alone. emoticon emoticon
    1928 days ago
    That is a shame about your group of friends coming unglued over politics. There are always those people that cannot stand any views in life but their own. And those people do not make good friends eventually. Sounds like your little group is about to go through some culling out of the sour grapes people and will be better for it.
    1928 days ago
    1928 days ago
    TELL THEM: You don't want to talk about politics....or religion!
    It just won't work! sooo many other thing to chat about!!! To me politic and religion is a private thing! I don't even know how hubby vites!!!! It is his business! I could could care less! I keep my nose in my own plate so to speak! LOL LOL LOL
    1928 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.