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    SHERRYGAYL   19,619
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Anxiety!


Wednesday, December 05, 2012

If it wasn't for financial concerns my life would be almost perfect right now. Money is a big problem for me but it all keeps working out somehow. I'm trying to be more secure and have a predictable income every month that will cover all my expenses with plenty left over for new clothes, fun stuff, etc., but attaining my financial independence and security is not working out for me gracefully.

But even that is only moderately stressful compared to what's happening tomorrow. My ex is coming to town for the weekend. We aren't divorced yet but only because neither of us can afford the court filing fee to process the paperwork. He, however, has a new... what's the right word? Well, she's shacked up with a still-married man whom she met in rehab so... a new girlfriend with a history of poor decision making skills... that work?

I'm just hoping beyond hope that he's not stupid and deluded enough to think that she can come stay with me for the weekend, too. Because, no, daddy's most recent ho isn't staying in my house with my children!

I'm also terrified of what this is going to do to my girl when he leaves again after a few days! It's going to be a MAJOR setback for her! She's finally not asking 25 times a week when daddy's going to be out of the military and be with us again. I haven't discussed things like "separation" or "divorce" with her yet because she is so young and, well, autistic. But having him here for a few days and then leaving is really going to be so upsetting for her emoticon

I know I'm borrowing a maybe problem from tomorrow and another problem from next week. So let's talk about today! Oh I felt so bloated and crummy when I got up this morning! And it was raining and yucky outside, too, so after the kids left I went back to bed for a while. Then I had a healthy lunch, walked 1 mile to the city park, did week 1 day 2 of c25k (1.6 miles in 26 minutes alternating walking with a slow jog), did not even require my inhaler!, and then walked the mile home. I did not get any other exercise in today but I do about 15 minutes of stretching and yoga before bed (so in about 5 minutes) but, hey, I might get good at this running thing!

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Goodnight!
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LERWIN1324 12/5/2012 10:55PM

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