Tuesday, December 04, 2012
Been awhile since I blogged.....or anything..... I fell off track yet again, gaining almost 8 pounds.
I've been thinking a lot about WHY I eat. My two main issues are: self control and mindset. Those are the big ones that I can't seem to get right.
I was looking at the OA website and decided to go to a meeting with my coworker. It was about the HOW program (abstaining from sugar, etc)....and how its easier to be structured, then to keep giving in to binges and falling off for awhile....which I do. I know myself. If I give up every single piece of junk food, that will bring on more binges....so I just don't see how it is realistic.
Their very first step is: Admitting that I am POWERLESS over food.
POWERLESS..... I hate that word. I feel that I am not POWERLESS over anything. I have a choice. Nothing is powerless when there is a higher power (God) surrounding me at all times. POWERLESS just seems like giving in, completely giving up and admitting food has won.
I don't accept this. Am I looking at this wrong? Do I need OA? I go on binges. I have a hard time controlling myself. I eat mindlessly. But am I POWERLESS?
Any feedback? Anyone else go to these before?