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Life as I Know It

Tuesday, December 04, 2012

Not sure what is bringing it on, but I'm totally emotional tonight. I just arrived at my Tuesday night class and I am overwhelmed by how my life has changed.

At this time last year I was working as an interior architect, making fairly decent wages, living happily on my own, in a sort of struggling relationship, but all was stable. I had been working out on such a regular basis and logging calories most of the time.

I went through what seemed like a lengthy unemployment and all of the stress that comes with that. I worked out constantly during this time and kept my eating sort of at bay.

Today, I am working two jobs, about 60 hrs a week, both in totally unrelated fields from architecture, and making less than half of what I was. I am back in school, commuting 45 min to 1hr 45 min between home and my classes. I hardly have time to breathe. In the next month, I will be moving back home with my parents. All of this is so bittersweet.

Moving home will help me take care of my pup, and allow me to see some of the money that I am making get into the bank. I have lived on my own though for ten years. I am going from a 2 bedroom town home with garage and everything back into the bedroom that I grew up in. I am already struggling with my parents and whether I can also use my 34 year old brother's old bedroom. They don't want to rock HIS boat by allowing me to carefully pack up his things... they would rather keep MY boat tipping...

Finally getting into the field of education is so exciting, and being back coaching swimming is amazing. But I feel a kind of mourning for my old life that I worked so hard for. I miss my friends that I worked with for 6 years, who of course, have since all but forgotten me. I miss that life that I knew.

I am sure some of my emotion stems from the lack of cardio. My bf and I have started doing the hundred push up challenge so that I feel like I am doing SOMETHING, but... I feel fatter now than before we started.

Stress stress stress! Two of my classes will be over this week and I will be able to breathe a little, but one just started and it is very writing heavy. I have to find time to work out but I don't know how...

I know there are single parents out there working two jobs and going to school, and I am sure some of them still find time for a work out... so what is wrong with me? I am wiped right now and its only Tuesday - by Saturday I feel like I am lucky just to get out and run some errands I am so crazed!

Anywho... I walked into class feeling so overwhelmed, like there is an enormous weight on me... thought writing might help. I love you all and miss you!!! Just another thing that seems so far away these days! Hope all is well!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

APPLEPIEDREAMS 1/3/2013 11:22AM

    I just saw this. Hang in there Dani. It's all going to seem worth it in the end. I went through a rough year or so with lots of changes and there is light at the end of the tunnel.

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MBSHAZZER 12/10/2012 9:09AM

    Dani, I thought I already commented on this blog, but I hadn't! Thanks for checking in and HANG IN THERE!!

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LIGHTNINGRUNNER 12/6/2012 11:09AM

    Dani - Just keep on keeping on. Stress will come and go - I would suggest you actually talk to your brother about packing up his stuff - my guess is he won't care.

Hang in there...

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CBAILEYC 12/5/2012 12:55PM

    You've gotten wonderful words of wisdom already. I'm happy to 'see' you here and to hear how you're doing - even if it's not exactly what you want right now, it will be.
emoticon emoticon
C~

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CARILOUIE 12/5/2012 7:40AM

    This is crazy - I woke up this morning and thought "I really should text Dani to see how she's doing." And here you are!
I have been subbing in my old school, and it brings out these exact same feelings you are having. I was there for five years, and I get treated kind of like a stranger when I go in there now.
I don't know what else to say except that I totally get this blog.
I'm always here if you need me.

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GOEGIRL 12/5/2012 1:55AM

    It's good to hear from you! I was thinking about you, wondering how things have been rolling. Sounds like a bit of turbulence - but it also sounds like you're taking it on well!

But wow, I can't believe how much of what you said verbalizes how I feel these days! I know we're on really different paths, but the end result sounds a lot like what's sucking the life out of me right now. I've been 'in mourning' for my old life a lot lately too, and it's really messing with my focus. I miss having my own space and my own time.

Hugs and full confidence in you - life has thrown you some pretty big curves, and you're meeting the challenges. I do hope things get easier for you soon... how long will you be in school for? If I think of any brilliant ways to juggle the craziness, I'll let you know. You too, kay? Weekly virtual run date? Maybe next semester???


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MIAMIA7 12/4/2012 9:10PM

    Well my sweet girl "this to shall pass". That is what my mom always told me when things got rough or stressful. And darlin' this is a rough and stressful time for you. The best you can do for now is think of it as a temporary time at your parents so that you can permanently have a better life for yourself. It is going to be an adjustment but you can do it. Do however reach out to your friends for help and support. That is what we are here for! Love ya, Anne (mom)

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BOBBYD31 12/4/2012 8:56PM

    hang in there sweetie, give it time at home and be patient with your parents because it will be a hard adjustment for them also. i am very proud of you for all your doing right now, in the end it will all be worth it, just think summers offffffffffffffffffffffff! what a way to de- stress
hugs

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GLADGAD 12/4/2012 8:29PM

    Wow! You are going through ALOT right now. A major life change is always stressful, even if for the better. I can't imagine how tough it is to go back to your parents' after living on your own for 10 years. Remember that, as much as your parents love you, moving back home might be a little stressful for them. After all their life style is going to change, and maybe that's why your mom is resistent to you changing your brother's room. Perhaps you can offer to take photos of everything and promise to put it all back when you move out. Or talk to your brother and see if he can talk to your mom and let her know it's okay to pack things up.

You compare today to one year ago and remark how different things are. Just remember that one year from now things are going to be much different than today. Just keep your eye on your goals and keep plugging along. I worked full time and went to night school for years (I graduated when I was 39!), and I missed out on a lot of things - hockey tournaments, social activities, and who knows what because I spent every weekend doing home work. My advice is to get through school as quickly as you can regardless of what it takes so you can get your life back to what you want.

I think you have a great work ethic and I commend you on how hard you are working. Not many people would make the sacrifices you are; just know it will be worth it.

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ETTEZEUS 12/4/2012 8:09PM

    Aww Dani, I am so sorry!
I miss you too!
Deep breaths. Don't try to do it all at once. If you can't work out, don't stress about it.
This time next year, you'll look back and go "Wow! I made it through that!!"

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CASSIOEPIA 12/4/2012 7:26PM

    Major hugs honey. With the amount of major life changes you have had over the past year, it is no surprise that you are feeling overwhelmed - even if you were only working one job. The fact that you are working two jobs and going to school is enough to make even the strongest person feel emotional.

Looking back a year, things have really changed for you. You are working towards a better life, and things will change again - for the better.

Love you. Make sure you try to get a good night's sleep once in awhile. It's important.

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PURPLEALLY 12/4/2012 7:13PM

    I hope writing this helped.
I am impressed by what you are doing; I have never had to work two jobs and cannot only imagine doing that AND going to school?????

Remember, your life is going thru MAJOR changes so that is extremely rough. Best part? I believe, I KNOW, you will come out on the other side so much better.

In a couple of years, you will be writing about the changes in your life and all the wonderful things that have fallen into place.

ok, for a bit of reality--good luck with moving back home. Super tough. I did do that once, for six months after recovering from a divorce.

Love ya! emoticon

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