Tuesday, December 04, 2012
Not sure what is bringing it on, but I'm totally emotional tonight. I just arrived at my Tuesday night class and I am overwhelmed by how my life has changed.
At this time last year I was working as an interior architect, making fairly decent wages, living happily on my own, in a sort of struggling relationship, but all was stable. I had been working out on such a regular basis and logging calories most of the time.
I went through what seemed like a lengthy unemployment and all of the stress that comes with that. I worked out constantly during this time and kept my eating sort of at bay.
Today, I am working two jobs, about 60 hrs a week, both in totally unrelated fields from architecture, and making less than half of what I was. I am back in school, commuting 45 min to 1hr 45 min between home and my classes. I hardly have time to breathe. In the next month, I will be moving back home with my parents. All of this is so bittersweet.
Moving home will help me take care of my pup, and allow me to see some of the money that I am making get into the bank. I have lived on my own though for ten years. I am going from a 2 bedroom town home with garage and everything back into the bedroom that I grew up in. I am already struggling with my parents and whether I can also use my 34 year old brother's old bedroom. They don't want to rock HIS boat by allowing me to carefully pack up his things... they would rather keep MY boat tipping...
Finally getting into the field of education is so exciting, and being back coaching swimming is amazing. But I feel a kind of mourning for my old life that I worked so hard for. I miss my friends that I worked with for 6 years, who of course, have since all but forgotten me. I miss that life that I knew.
I am sure some of my emotion stems from the lack of cardio. My bf and I have started doing the hundred push up challenge so that I feel like I am doing SOMETHING, but... I feel fatter now than before we started.
Stress stress stress! Two of my classes will be over this week and I will be able to breathe a little, but one just started and it is very writing heavy. I have to find time to work out but I don't know how...
I know there are single parents out there working two jobs and going to school, and I am sure some of them still find time for a work out... so what is wrong with me? I am wiped right now and its only Tuesday - by Saturday I feel like I am lucky just to get out and run some errands I am so crazed!
Anywho... I walked into class feeling so overwhelmed, like there is an enormous weight on me... thought writing might help. I love you all and miss you!!! Just another thing that seems so far away these days! Hope all is well!