Relationships, Weight Loss, and Life Itslef
Tuesday, December 04, 2012
So, I have not been on the blogging circuit since last year, but I need to vent, give thanks, and ask for advice to whoever may come across and read this blog of mine. I am struggleing in ending a relationship I have been in for 3 years. He is a great guy, but I am just over it. I am unhappy and feel unsatisfied. I have talked to him about it, but nothing ever changes. I feel like the relationship has run its course for me. I have changed as a person and realized the differences between us ( beliefs, values, I want kids and he doesnt, ect.). I want to break up with him, but how can I hurt him? He loves me, but I dont feel the same for him? Ugh..its so hard! My first relationship..the first guy to care about me, but I dont want to be with him anymore. How can I end it and be happy? Any suggestions would be nice. And should I do it before or after the holidays? Any similar stories?
I just want someone who makes my knees buckle everytime I think of him. Someone to motivate me and has ambitions and goals. Anyways...I just need to get my tunnel vision on and focus on grad school and getting in. Yikes! Deadlines are coming up! I also need to start shaking these 30 extra pounds I gained in the course of this relationship. All we do is eat, eat, eat! If I suggest a walk, he frowns and says hes tired..Every. Single.Time. When I am busy with my studies and cant see him, he gets sad and I feel an obligation to see him and put my studies aside. No more of that! I have to motivate myself if I cant be in a relationship with someone who can motivate me. I want a partner in (good) crime! As I come to the end of this random vent, my random readers will leave with these words: Motivate yourself!! You have to be there for you first in order to be there for others. Its not being selfish, its being the best you can be for yourself and others. Go and reach your goals today no matter how big or small...they are all magnificent just like you my beautiful Spark readers:)) Oh..and Happy Early Holidays!!!
Member Comments About This Blog Post
This is not a healthy relationship. If it were, he would respect your goals and not do things to try to take you away from them. You WILL find the right person. Christi gave good advice. Waiting will only hurt you. He knows you aren't happy, so go for it.
1304 days ago
Hi there! I have some advice since I've been broken a few hearts (both the right and wrong way) and have had my heart broken as well. First off, you are going to hurt him no matter how you break up with him, but in order for there to be friendliness after the fact, I would recommend being completely honest. Tell him that you are 'just not that into him.' - in your own way- and that you want to find something that feels right. DO NOT lie, cheat, avoid him, or try to dress it up like it's not his fault but yours (or any other cliche break up line). It hurts much, much, much more! Also, I would recommend discontinuing your friendship until he's over you - like delete him as a friend from facebook, and try to avoid the same parties and hangouts. This will help him to recover. When I was broken up with, all I wanted to do was check his facebook account every 10 seconds and try to see him one last time (can we say stalker!) and that was just not conducive for getting over that A-hole. Also, this will help you to not easily go back to him when you hit that stage where you're worried you made the wrong decision breaking up with him and quickly run back - this just leads to the same old crap eventually, so don't fall for it!
On a side note - good luck with grad school! You are at an awesome time in your life. Time to live it to the fullest! Grad school is how I met my fiance - we have been together over 2 and a half years and I still get butterflies when I'm with him. I know this sounds silly, because I thought so too, but when you find 'the one' you'll know it.
1304 days ago
Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.