Tuesday, December 04, 2012
This morning at 4:30 am, as I laid there not able to sleep with all the noisy conversation in my head about not taking care of myself by eating healthy, being active, doing what I can to address and reduce life's stresses, I felt desperate to make any small positive change in my life.
My efforts to get back to a routine of eating healthy and logging my food, being active during my day by taking short walks and getting to the gym regularly have fallen apart due to my lack of attention and commitment.
There are times I just want to curl up in a ball and turn everything off that's coming at me. I've missed my first 12-week goal and am disappointed in myself. At the same time I know being mired in that feeling will not lead me to move forward. So its time to hug myself, give myself an encouraging smile and look for baby steps to take to show myself I can do it.
One thing I've noticed is how often I place myself at the bottom or way down on the priority list for my time, energy, etc. Its almost as if I don't deserve to have the time and energy invested in my well-being physically, mentally and emotionally. This so has to change and it changes now. I can focus an appropriate amount of time, energy etc on myself and still have enough or more to offer others.
Important people in my life are battling depression, anxiety, etc and I have been there and battle it myself daily. I want to share life with them, support them, and encourage them withou getting depressed or anxious myself about it. Being active and taking care of myself is the best weapon in that fight.