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    _JULEE_   202,716
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One More Thing....


Tuesday, December 04, 2012

Ah, those famous words, when uttered by Columbo, were your cue to get ready for the trap to spring on the bad guy. Columbo would seem to blunder aimlessly through an investigation but he was really giving the bad guy all the rope he needed to hang himself.

But this isn't about Columbo. Nope.

It's about receiving what you ask for - even if you do not understand that you are asking.

For much of 2012, things have been so weird and stressful around my house. Inlaws, siblings and parents all seeming to act up. I found myself shielding my children from people they love because of toxic behaviors and attitudes.

With each (seemingly escalating) incident/issue, I'd say "Seriously? I need ONE MORE THING?"

Then, BOOM. One. More. Thing.

One more butthead thing. One more expense. One more breakdown. One more injury. One more Xray. One more blood test. Clothing moths ATE MY DAD's PENDLETON JACKET. Then DH was out of work.

Seriously? I don't need ONE MORE THING.

Bang. One More Thing. My mother fell and broke herself. We brought her home and BTW, stuff for injured, elderly folks is SHAMEFULLY expensive. $200 for a bedside commode? Seriously? (BTW, I have one of the aforementioned items if anyone needs one - will let it go cheap or in trade. It's clean and back in the box it came in.)

As I said before, this entire year hasn't been the best, but things seemed to ramp up starting in August. All through August, September, October and November, my life has been someone else's. LOL

There were weeks that melted together and passed in a blink of an eye.

There were days that felt like unmitigated torture to me emotionally. Realized that I was being presented with a huge opportunity for changing myself yet again.

Utilized my time as well as I could. Bad habits melted away. Much baggage seemed to fall away along with the fears/negativities. There was a lot I didn't even realize I was packing around! It just bubbled up really bad one day in early November and I felt so toxic. I learned some things, though.

As I go, so goes my entire household and my kids don't need to be nervous wrecks.

Things are only as big and scary as we let them get. Fear is powerful and it draws more negativity to us - the same way happiness and fearlessness draws positivity. It really is a choice, fear doesn't fall out of the sky on our heads - it's a REACTION and one we can learn to control. We CAN choose to be less fearful every time it tries to jump on us.

Each person is different, but I used replacement therapy. Every time I would think of something that caused me to feel fear and/or anxiety, I'd mindfully feel the fear for just a moment, then think of something else that made me feel happy or brave (or both - my kids) and I would let the happy, brave feelings push the fear away.

I also stopped asking for one more thing. Didn't let the words pass my lips. The bad things stopped happening. LOL Good things started happening...

My DH got a job and he likes it. Despite a 30% pay cut, it's a good fit. That's a huge blessing.

My mom is back at her home and getting around with her 4-legged cane. She can't use a walker because of her broken shoulder. Truthfully, I think the cane has been better - she can't lean on it and is being forced to use muscles - consequently, she's rebuilding muscles.

There are several other things that have had positive outcomes around here and we are truly grateful for them. I'd enumerate them, but the list would be painfully long and honestly, I'm letting so much just go so I can live in the now and enjoy life.

There are still some things hanging out there pending, but I'm keeping good thoughts for positive outcomes and not letting the fear bug have any footing.

Looking forward to some really Happy, Happy, Happy Holidays! emoticon
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ITS_MY_TURN_NOW 12/4/2012 11:05PM

    You are an inspiration. I am so glad I stopped in. I have been facing my own set of challenges lately and even though things are starting to get better I keep waiting for the next "thing" to happen. Need to stop that. LOL I am so glad things are getting better for you! Sounds like you have been through a lot. May we all have a healthy, happy holiday season!
Hugs,
Julee


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BRAVELUTE 12/4/2012 8:16PM

    You have been a loyal caregiver, and now it is time to give care to yourself.

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1CRAZYDOG 12/4/2012 2:07PM

    The old "When it rains, it pours" scenario! VERY glad your DH has found a job. I can't believe my BIL has now been out of work . . . AGAIN . . . for 6 mths. Not one nibble. Seriously depressing! Well, anywho, wishing DH all the best.

Sorry to hear your Mom had fall injuries. **Sigh** Some days you just wan to put your parents in bubble wrap! Well, anyway, hope she's progressing.

MOST of all, sorry that you've been thru so much. That just doesn't help the health at all, but sounds like you have the right attitude. You can't control situations, but you can control reactions. I applaud you for backing away from toxic situations. That's the best thing you can do!

HUGS Julee and hope things improve.

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LADYROSE 12/4/2012 12:51PM

    "Realized that I was being presented with a huge opportunity for changing myself yet again. "

Brilliant and just what I needed to read! It's so true... every obstacle is an opportunity to learn and grow and evolve. When we're in the thick of Change and fight that Change with every fiber of our being, it's basically saying I'm not willing to stop being the person I am now and grow into who I need to be, and learn what I need to learn. (and by "we" and "our", I mean "I" and "my" ;)

Thank you for that wonderful teaching!!! And so glad that you have gotten through this phase of learning!! Lots of hugs!

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