Tuesday, December 04, 2012
I started of yesterday on track, focused and motivated. After lunch I was running an errand and went by my favorite chocolate shop…I have been doing well, life was pretty stressful and it’s the holidays, maybe I can take a break from my focus on eating well etc…well I stopped in and rewarded myself with a couple pieces of chocolate. It wasn’t much of a reward since it didn’t make me feel any better but sluggish…YUCK!
After work I went to get my nails done and all I could do was think about sweets, ice cream, chocolate, pie… by the time I left the salon I couldn’t get over to the market fast enough. I didn’t stop for a second to consider what I was doing; I knew what I was doing. I just didn’t want to deal with the reality of my life, my husband’s illness and I was going to numb myself as fast and as much as I could. When I got home my son was shocked with all the junk he kept asking me what was wrong, why there was all this junk food in the house.
I was having a melt down and didn’t shad a tear or yell. Just dove right into a container of Ben and Jerry’s, then more junk and more junk… I guess you could say I went all out!!! Intellectually I knew that all the junk would not change or help the situation but I did it any ways.
Today is a new day, I have made peace with what happened yesterday and I’m ready to be back on track. I have no desire for sugar or more Ben and Jerry’s; I guess you could say I got it out of my system.