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My big fat........ego.

Tuesday, December 04, 2012

I'm a really good cook. To be more exact, I am a really good baker. You know what that means, don't you? It means that there is always at least three pounds of butter in my freezer, that I currently have four different kinds of sugar in my pantry (not to mention the two colors of corn syrup and the molasses), and that when someone mentions that they will be dropping by in an hour, I meet them at the door with a fresh pot of coffee and a plate of cookies or muffins. My favorite possession is my apple green Kitchen Aid mixer, and of the 20 cookbooks I brought overseas, 2/3 of them are dessert-centered.

I am the product of generations of chubby Midwestern women who were too repressed to show their love in any way but dough. If you've had a bad day, I'll make you cookies; If you've done something nice for me, a pie will appear in your life; If I am stressed, I'll stay up and bake brownies because it reminds me of being with my mom and grandmother and being a little girl again. I don't bake out of depression--well, sometimes, but not only. Sometimes I bake out of joy, or love, or EGO.

If there is an event at work that requires food--a potluck breakfast, or a meeting, you can bet that mine will be the dish that is finished first, and that if it is not, I will be frustrated and jealous of the person who made something better than me.

How messed up is that? We have a potluck breakfast in two days, and I am already fretting over what I can make that will top the raspberry crumb coffee cake I baked for the last one. One of my friends said that she was just going to boil a dozen eggs and call it a day, because it was the busy time of the year, and she didn't need to stress about anything else. What what what??? How can she bring boiled eggs? Doesn't she know that people will judge her???? (OK, maybe that's just me who will judge her..and if so, what kind of a person am I for judging someone over what she brings to a potluck?)

This weekend I baked a cake to take to a party. I think the baking soda had gone off, because the cake, one I've made numerous times before, did not rise. Instead of laughing it off and showing up with a bottle of wine, I skipped the party and wallowed in frustration because the cake did not do what it was supposed to.

Clearly this is not normal behavior.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You do tell a funny story! But I totally understand - I too love to bake, and have a reputation to sustain - and it's true, once you are known as a great baker, you always feel you have to live up to the title. (However, next time the cake doesn't rise, call it brownies and bring it anyway.)

    I made a cake for a friend's boyfriend's b'day - the crazy cake, you know, chocolate and baking soda and you add vinegar to make it rise? It was a rainy day, and this cake doesn't work on a rainy day - it totally fell apart when I took it out of the pans. I just stuck it all back together with tons of frosting, and the guys loved it! (Well, and I used blue frosting and added scuba diving lego figures and sharks and all, since the couple were diving buddies of ours - so there was a LOT of camouflage going on.)
    1874 days ago
    I can totally relate, I am the same way about baking. Baking helps me relieve stress, I find it therapeutic. Is there help for people like us? (lol)

    I derive so much joy from it that I don't think I want to stop anytime soon.
    1875 days ago
  • 3016DEBRA
    Ahhh...sorry about the cake emoticon But I'm kind of like you in that if my dish isn't one of the first to go, I'm like, WTH!!!! And if I don't get asked for the recipe at least 5 times, well then I'm frustrated the rest of the night! That's kinda egotistical - and I know it but that's just the way I am! Have yourself a good one, Lulubelle! emoticon
    1875 days ago
    You're a funny writer. I wish I could bake, but I'll just have to live vicariously through you!
    1875 days ago
    fun blog.. i love to bring the best dish too... i'm tickled with the person who brought healthy boiled eggs, i would be drawn to that... so many times there are no healthy choices..

    you are a good writer...

    1875 days ago
    Hey, I am a chubby Polish lady living in Western Pennsylvania! I am from the country where you eat 3 homemade meals everyday, and dinner is supposed to consist of soup, main course and desert! This is a country where many people still disaprove store bought baby food, dog food and cat food LOL
    But your friend was right about those boiled eggs. emoticon Some mayo and chives and they will be yummy (I would judge her only if she had overboiled them LOL you know, that bluish greenish line around the yolk emoticon )
    If I were you I would make some easy bisquits. Or savory scones, perhaps.
    Good luck, have fun and enjoy you party!!
    1875 days ago
    I'm not a baker and I don't know about cooking but I can follow directions so when something turns out, I put the success down to the map reading skill. emoticon
    1875 days ago
  • ANDY_54
    Your blog has let me come out of the closet: "Hello I'm Andy, a chubby Midwestern baker." I'm pumping my fist in support, altho I've never forgone a potluck because of a bad dish, hee. Love this post, and it hit home because I love to bake. Since joining SP my own royal blue Kitchenaid is feeling neglected, I'm thinking that's a good thing! emoticon
    1875 days ago
    I love this and I am the same way. I know I am a good cook and normally laugh it off when people say things like you are so good...I am a fat chick it would be bad if I couldn't cook. I love to see people's reactions to it. As I read it brought me back to one of my mom's recipes and I think it would be a hit. Chocolate Cherry Breakfast Braid. Regrettably, my mom is no longer with us and the recipe is nonexistent in many searches I have tried. But good luck in finding something to make an amazing rendition of. Happy Cooking
    1876 days ago
    i'd be the one in wonder of you doing all that work.... when the grocery store has that cake all baked for me already! when they tell me how good it was I say thank 'auntie" Jewel or 'uncle' Dominicks the local grocers here!lol
    1876 days ago
    Ahhhhh...I am incredibly envious of your baking talent. I too love to bake. The problem is, I RARELY bake something that turns out as it should. I can follow a recipe. I buy fresh ingredients EVERY single time, because I'm afraid my cake won't rise or the cookies will be icky. This post is perfectly timed. Over the course of the past month, I've made three different quick breads. 1) pumpkin bread, 2) banana bread and (because neither 1 or 2 were edible) 3) banana bread, again last night. While last night's banana bread was an improvement on the first two attempts, it fell far from my imagined vision of glorious light and fluffy yumminess. It too was inedible. Literally. (I can't sing either. But that doesn't stop me from cranking up the radio and crooning along with one of my favorite artists.)

    I was planning to make Christmas goodies as gifts this year. On reflection? Maybe I ought to stick to gift cards. Sigh.

    Have a Great week! I'm sure whatever you choose to make for the Breakfast Potluck will turn out fabulously!
    1876 days ago
    Wow--your blog brought back a memory for me: My mother-in-law was very jealous when I first started dating her son, my now husband of 32 years. I made him a cheesecake for his birthday and she criticized it. Then she asked him whose he liked better--hers or mine? Smart man gave the correct answer. LOL

    Have you thought about cooking/baking for the less fortunate? That might be a great outlet for you as well as a benefit for others.

    Have a great day!
    1876 days ago
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