Tuesday, December 04, 2012
What has been my biggest challenge this year? Starting. I've struggled with my weight my entire life. I've always been on the heavy side. I've tried every fad diet under the sun and then some. It's been a horrible roller coaster of lose some, gain more, lose some, gain more until I was finally pushing 300 pounds. I can't tell you exactly what clicked but one day I woke up and decided "that's it. It's time." I joined a gym and started watching what I ate. The first 10 pounds melted off like butter. The rest, not so easy. Once my body had that initial burst, it slowed down to 1-2 pounds per week (and some weeks, none at all). It's been a constant battle with myself to stick to this.
There have been many nights I've gotten off work and the last thing I want to do is go to the gym. But you know what? I've went. I've even went some nights I haven't had to work. I started off walking on the treadmill at 2 mph and thinking I was going to die. I'm up to between 3.8 and 4.2 mph now. The elliptical? The first night I got on it I lasted about 2 minutes, again fearing death. Now it's my favorite thing to do and I typically go between 35 and 45 minutes.
Food is another challenge. I love food. LOVE it. I was raised by a mom that was an amazing cook. My grandparents owned a restaurant. Food was love. I'm also an emotional eater so food was comfort. I still have a hard time staring down food and walking away. I don't always. I've learned portion control. I'm still working on eating more good calories and less bad calories.
Everyday is a challenge. Some days I embrace it and accept it and some days I fight it every step of the way. But you know what? I'm becoming a better person for it. A healthier person. A happier person. I no longer worry if I'm the biggest person in the room. I don't fear my chair breaking or not fitting onto a ride at the amusement park. I can buy clothes at normal stores now, not specialty shops at the mall that carry extended plus sizes.
Don't get me wrong, I have a long, long ways to go. But I'm getting there. Everyday, I'm getting closer.