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What to do.. What to do..

Monday, December 03, 2012

Today I had my daughter go to the doctor because in nearly 6 years this is the first time she has ever said her throat hurts. I looked in there and low and behold.. white spots! I thought for sure this was strep, as I was plagued with strep until I had my tonsils removed in May.

Results from the doc.. No strep! Great, right? Next thing I'm told.. her tonsils should probably be removed because they are soooo large. My stomach dropped.

I know they say it is best to have it done when they are kids. I know lots and lots of kids have gone through the surgery and healed up just fine. I get it!

I just cannot think putting her through it is the right thing to do, because she is not constantly sick with throat issues or ear infections. Doesn't mean it wont get worse the older she gets though.

I have been anxiety ridden all day, and nearly burst out in tears thinking about how she is gonna feel afterwards, and how scared she will be before hand. She has been put under anesthesia before, for caps on her teeth. That was not invasive and it was an absolute need. I balled though seeing her be put out. I couldn't control it. It was the hardest thing I have had to do yet.

Obviously I know what I went through when I had my tonsils removed, I was swollen so bad I ended up in the ER twice because I couldn't get any fluids down and ended up with high fevers. I couldn't talk for a week because of the swelling and then when i was able to talk, I sounded like I had a huge toad in my throat!

She said today that she is afraid they will take her voice away. I am pretty sure she is remembering me not talking and sounding like a frog once I did start talking.

I tried talking to my bf, but he has no kids, and never supports me when I need it. I feel like he approaches things from a managerial position *surprise hes a manager* rather than a partner who understands.

I guess I'm in this one alone.. Once again.
Nothing new, I've always done it alone, so why does it seem so hard sometimes?

So.. Tomorrow I'm back to my running.. and I'm really going to lean on my workouts for stress relief this week. If it weren't almost 10p.m. now, I'd go for a seriously long walk. I could really use it.
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