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    EMMAEKAY   18,322
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December Dig Out

Monday, December 03, 2012

November was a blizzard of bullspit. I had absolutely no motivation, and then added an injury to that in the beginning of the month. Then, work went crazy and I was pulling 12-14 hour shifts every day. Of course, there was all the drama and trauma of C losing his job to deal with. Then, my brother lost his kid and his mind all in one swoop.

Well, it's December now, and I've got to start digging out of the emotional snow drift. The thing is, for the first time in MONTHS, I actually *feel like it.* I actually feel like exercising. I actually feel like being on Spark. I actually feel like eating good, healthy food and not a bunch of candy and junk. I actually FEEL like it.

So, I've got my mental shovel out and it's time to get to work. I'm going to back the exercise down from an hour to 30-40 minutes, because that's what I have time for. I've gained back 7 pounds over the last month, and I do have some work to do, but I also don't want to go overboard and end up right back where I was - exhausted, unmotivated, irritated.

C still doesn't have a job. It's not for lack of trying - he's giving it his all, and trying everything he can think of. He WANTS to work ... there just isn't anything out here for educated workers. All the jobs are construction or meat ... producing? Slaughter, basically. And fast food joints. He's never done construction, he absolutely WON'T do slaughter, and he's worked fast food before and hated it. Those are things I won't ask him to do.

He has one promising application and about 30 "pending" applications out there. We're really hoping he gets the job he applied for with Health & Human Services as a social service coordinator - he'd be helping people navigate state aide and other services. It pays well and has excellent benefits - and he has two friends that work there already and have been singing his praises to the HR department. That job would be a godsend, and one we badly need.

I feel positive about myself and my capabilities again - and that's something I haven't been able to say lately. I've felt more like a castaway, clinging helplessly to a sinking life raft... but now I'm back in the captain's chair. I know where I'm going. I know how to get there. And even if the sea gets rough, I know how to sail ... and I know that I know how.

I'm back, baby!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REDQT2 12/4/2012 2:25PM

    Welcome back! Things will get better; they just do!

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BRADMILL2922 12/3/2012 11:51PM

    Glad to hear you are back on track! Sounds like you had a lot thrown at you all at one time but you have your shovel and you are digging! Good for you!

One day at a time. One step at a time. Look at it as a sort of bonus. You could have packed it in and waited for New Year's but YOU DIDN'T! You are starting again NOW!

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HAPPYERIN 12/3/2012 9:51PM

    Yay, Emma's back! I'm glad to see you on these pages, I was wondering how you were doing!

You had a lot thrown at you at one time. It's great to see that awesome Emma strength pulling you back into Spark mode! You will do great, and all that positive energy will steer things in the right direction!
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MUSOLF6 12/3/2012 6:46PM

    emoticon

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KONRAD695 12/3/2012 2:34PM

    I'll agree with the blizzard!! emoticon Maybe you can recycle it into fertilizer.

Now that the mental part is over you can get back on track. You've done 80 lbs, the next 8 will make Nov disappear. emoticon emoticon

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DAUGHTEROFTWIN 12/3/2012 2:04PM

    What a rough month November was for you guys. I have no doubt you are capable of meeting your goals. I also have no doubt you are worthy of a healthy lifestyle and more importantly, peace of mind and confidence.

It sounds as if you may have been trying to beat your life into submission by exercise. I've tried doing that. It just made me dislike exercise even more.

I'm so happy to have you actively back with us. I missed you!

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HEIDISHOPE 12/3/2012 1:54PM

    Been there with the unemployment. The company where my dh worked closed in 2008 and it took him 2 1/2 years to find work. At the time, there really was NOTHING, not even fast food jobs to apply to. Unemployment is sooooooo hard on a family!!! (((hugs))) Thankfully, you have SP and your SparkFriends! We are all cheering for you! emoticon

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PUNKY100 12/3/2012 1:28PM

    Woooooooooooooooo!!!!! :-D emoticon

So glad to see you back!!! November is now over, over, over. We can get a head start on all of those people who swear to do this for their resolution haha. And don't worry about those 7 pounds, they will come off again, just like they came back on.

That's a great idea too about the exercise...do what you can and don't do what you can't. Seems kind of common sense, but then again, sometimes we lose that. :-P

I'm very excited to have you back, and super excited that you are back and in a place where you want to exercise and eat well. That makes it monumentally easier. I can't wait to see the progress you make again!!! :-D emoticon

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GRACEMCC45 12/3/2012 1:17PM

    So glad to hear from you!

Get back on it, you are going to do great - hopefully that job pans out for C!!!

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