Emotional Weeks...

So confused....

I talked to my best friend last night... I kept telling her I don't understand why I feel depressed. It was at that very moment everything that has been bugging me came to the surface.

I am a really tough cookie for actually being able to cope with everything that is there...

1. My Grandmother is dying. She had another stroke yesterday. She is in the hospital. I was just told this morning that she will not becoming home. She is going to a nursing home. I was so hoping she will be able to have one more Christmas. For her to see her second grandchild. I was keeping a positive outlook that I might not have a few weeks I might just have a few days.

2. My cousin, Thomas, has been gone for a month. I cannot stop crying. I only do that at night. I see the posting for his mother. It just breaks my heart.

3. One month after thomas' passing is National AIDS Awareness Day... Which reminds me of my very good friend who passed last December. I wish he was still around.

The less depressing but still important stress...

4. I have been sick for the last week with a soared stomach.

5. Kaleb has been sick with a viral/ear infection.

6. I have a boyfriend that I don't know if it is just me but seems distant.

7. I have ex boyfriend that is trying really hard to get my attention.

8. I have a good friend trying to get my attention as well.

9. I don't understand where all these men are coming from. That confuses me to know end.

10. I wish my best friend was here. The only friend I have made in the last year and half of being down here is moving back to Arizona.