Monday, December 03, 2012
I am sure there are woman out there who don't use their brain to the fullest potential either but... Today my issue is with a man. Not just any man, my husband. My companion, my supporter?
My birthday is just a few days away, the kids wanted to give me my presents early.... I got a really comfy/cozy set of PJ's and a package of those new JUMBO sized Reeses Peanut Butter Cups. Now these cups are my weakness, they are my favorite all time ever candy!!
I open it up, and my kids are expecting this happy dance reaction... I had to fake it the best I could as to not break precious hearts, while on the inside I am cringing and crying and thinking, how in the world could he buy this? Does he not want me to feel better about myself, to get the healthier/happier me back?
I buy a Wii fit and he buys me candy. He thought I wanted it.... Of course I do! But eating this way is what got me this way. He loves me the way I am, he says. I said, thank you honey, but I don't love me the way I am. I cannot take care of myself the way I want to, which means I cannot take care of my family the way I NEED to. So now that I know I don't really have his support.... Depression. He was that one person, the one adult I see, to help me through. Other then random comments and such from a website... I guess I go this alone, fighting not just for health, but to have actual real life/true time support.
Bring on Monday, bring on December and Christmas and the Joys of the world that go with it!