Sunday, December 02, 2012
Have you ever gone into performance mode just to survive? I had 7 children in my Sunday school class this morning and our class went well. Then, I made it through the first part of the service unscathed. However, we then sang a song that right now I can't even think of the title. As we were singing it, the words had to do with "sacrifice of love".....and right there on the platform in total sight of the entire congregation the tears just flowed. I couldn't stop. I bit my lip, stopped singing, closed my eyes and waiting for the song to end. I didn't want to look at anyone because I was pretty certain they were all staring at me. I tried to gain control but I couldn't. I knew it would be worse for me to bolt so I stood there, totally vulnerable and feeling trapped. What's worse is I'm the pastor. I am so thankful that it was my one day that I didn't have to preach. There was no way I could get up in front of everyone after that meltdown.
As soon as the song ended, it was time to leave the platform, so I graciously gathered my Bible, and walked out of the sanctuary with my head held high and escaped into the restroom. And after drying my eyes, I made my way to my seat. By the end of the service I was able to meet and greet the congregation at the door.