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    KATYDID412   52,761
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december already

Sunday, December 02, 2012

I can't believe it's December again already. I'm not sure how I feel about this. The holidays aren't my favorite. At all. I'm usually good up until Thanksgiving, and then I would be happy just to turn the calendar to January 2. Last year was bad because I had just been through a painful breakup and, at the same time, my best friend was planning a wedding that I had to help with.

This year is not as bad. I'm in a better spot because I'm in better health and taking care of myself. The weird relationship that ended last fall is resurrecting a little bit, but I'm in a better spot about that too. I should say he's trying to resurrect it. So far I have been able to resist. But the reality has not changed: He's married and not going to leave. As much as he misses me and I miss him, that's the fact.

So. Another Christmas is coming, and I'm not that excited about it. I have some baking I want to do for others, but that sure is a dangerous position for me! I made two pecan pies over Thanksgiving and indulged in lots of scraps of pie dough and licks of the mixers.

I haven't done Christmas cards in like three years and feel like such a hermit/Scrooge because of it. I get so sad when I get friends' cards and there are photos of them and their kids and their animals and their vacations. I want to be married so badly, but I'm doing nothing to make that happen and in fact, since I am still in contact with my ex, i guess an argument could be made that I'm sabotaging myself.

Man ... I didn't mean for this blog to turn into such a sad sack story. This is maybe just a reason why I might be quieter than usual this month.

Come soon, 2013!

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DONNABRIGHT 12/3/2012 9:04PM

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IRONBLOSSOM 12/3/2012 2:00PM

    I know what you mean, things just are way too crazy this time of year and you get to the point where you may be making good memories but you're too tired to remember them!

It's always hard to be single around the holidays too, soooooo many ads, and songs and etc...all about love.

I'm glad you know that he won't leave his wife. I actually have seen it once...after the guy put my friend through 5 years of h*ll, and in the end the wife actually left him and he "settled" for my friend. The whole situation really grosses me out but I definitely saw during those years how badly he made her feel about herself. You need to get out there and do things and be with people who make you feel GREAT about yourself! Because you're a really great friend through the anonymous internets and I'm sure you are in "real" life as well. You deserve so much better than half of a relationship.

For baking, I'm going to try making some of SPs 12 days of christmas cookies...seems a little safer?? :-)

Have a GREAT week and find time to enjoy the little things this Holiday season. You'll only be whatever age you are right now once!

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MERETONI 12/3/2012 7:59AM

    I'm not a Christmas fan either... this whole month can be way to hectic. I know what you mean about giving cards.. I gave a couple this year but didn't last year and this will be the second year I don't bake either. I didn't bother last year and I really don't feel like it this year. Between the time and money it costs to make treats it's almost not worth it, especially this year since I won't be eating most of it! Of course unless I find good-for-me treats to make.

Try your best to make December a good one so that when 2013 comes around it can only get better.

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LINDAK25 12/2/2012 10:08PM

    Okay, I'm not giving relationship advice. That's up to you.

Baking for others is one of my dilemmas, as well. First, I thought I wouldn't bake. Hubby vetoed that. Then I thought perhaps I could make small cakes, but, no, that won't do. So Christmas cookies it is. Yikes! I know I can resist them, but then January comes and I feel deprived and that's never a good place to be. Balance and moderation will have to see me through the holidays.

Find something to do that will bring you joy and peace this season.

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BRIDGIEEE 12/2/2012 9:12PM

    I hope you find a way to enjoy the holiday season. I have been in your shoes as a single girl around the holidays and that isn't the best feeling in the world but try to look past that. Consider volunteering at a local shelter or food bank, it might really help to lift your spirits. Good luck with everything!

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