Sunday, December 02, 2012
This is always the worst month for me. All the stresses of family gatherings, all the extra food I tend to consume.... all the days I never make it to the gym... December is usually a disaster of a month ending the year in angst rather than in happiness.
Well no more! This December I am making plans to have a happy month. I am not going to repeat the years gone by of Decembers. It's gonna be different this year. Already this week I have 4 " meet at the gym" dates set up with my work out buddy. No sloth for this chickee poo! And I have downloaded a few healthy recipes from for my slow cooker to give some comfort food that won't load me up on calories. I'm gonna keep buying the healthy food for my fridge and I ain't getting sucked into " holiday treat food". Whoever wants that can go to someone elses house this year!
And I feel more in control this year. I had a bad October and even though I didn't lose any pounds in November I got back into the swing of eating clean again and going to the gym and the pool. It's not quite a habit yet - but the feeling leaving the gym and hitting the cool December air - it is a good one. That feeling of having worked out all the kinks and having revved up the heart and lungs.... that Zen thing of being at peace with myself is coming back strong.
December is also my birthday month. And I am looking back and seeing how much I have learned this year. What I did different - what I did for the first time.. and its going in the right direction. NO need to beat myself up for not losing 60 lbs like I planned. Instead I'm giving myself credit for losing 23. Yeah I really lost 30 and gained 7 back - but whatever.... I'm learning how to look after myself again. It is fits and starts but overall I made progress.
In one of the courses I teach we talk about building neuropathways - the simple of it is that when you learn something new - you have to create a new neuropathway for the brain to understand the new direction you are going in. This is the way change occurs. AT first the primitive brain kicks in and freaks out - fight flight or freeze - then the middle brain takes over and soon enough the outside brain matter takes over and change occurs. Now I'm applying this to losing weight and being healthy. In my younger years I worked out and ate right and was a normal size. Somewhere along the way it all got off course - but now I am back finding those neuropathways and getting back on track.
So for D ecember this year - there is no dread. No freaking out about holiday meals and dealing with the crazy family. I am planning this year to be sane and in control. I'm not baking. I'm not making cards and crafts. I am not trying to be everything to everyone. Instead I am working out 4-5 times a week. I"m staying in my calorie range and will give myself one cheat meal for Christmas day , and a free day for my birthday. This month I will still move the scale down a few pounds to end the year on a positive note.
I am not giving in this year. I have my journal going. I have my fitness friends. I have resolve. I know better. I can feel the difference in me. Already there is some pushback but I just tell everyone it's only for this year. I'm just doing things a little different for this year. And then they sigh and figure it'll all go back to " the way it was" next year. I'm sure by next year they will have gotten used to the changes - built new neuropathways about who I am - and will move on.
No more dreaded december. This year its dedicated to me december. I'm gonna win this month over!