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On the 2nd day of December my health gave to me...

Sunday, December 02, 2012

Eating only when I'm hungry.

For years when I was little I had to eat what was given to me. Clean the plate. That is something I'm sure many can relate to.

But then if I loved the porkchops but was too full to eat more I would say, "I'll save a porkchop for later." But alas, I was told it would be eaten by then, so I either ate it then or not get any more later. So guess what I'd do? I'd eat it at that point in time, of course. When I was already full. Because it tasted so good. And it was not guaranteed to be there later.

So that lead to a devastatingly unhealthy way of eating. I just started putting two and two together on what was making me so big a couple years ago when I started to take this journey again.

And I'm somewhat unnerved by the fact that I get slight anxiety when my guy comes over to eat. That I won't have enough of my good food for leftovers. Because what if he eats it all? And I have to force myself not to eat more than I should. The nice thing is is that he knows that leftovers make perfect lunches so he makes sure I have at least a serving or two for leftovers. But it still causes some weird anxiety. I like to cook and he likes to eat, and I like to cook for him (and he's cooked for me, too) ....but it still boils down to the whole 'will he eat my last porkchop?' At this point in time I could make another if he did- I'm not a kid anymore. And I want him to be full (satisfied).

But it's something I need to work on. Even if it's good food....if I'm full I don't need to eat more. There will always be more where it came from.

And I don't know if anyone can relate to that at all.

So for a couple of weeks I've tried to live a little closer to a 'dish myself the food if I'm hungry, count it later' kind of thinking. And if I'm not hungry, I don't have to eat. Even if I don't hit my calorie limit of the day. I usually do.

So eating when I'm hungry is something I need to work on. Many foods are delicious and I could eat lots! But I always have to remember to stop when I'm full. And eat when I'm hungry.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You've figured it out and that's the big thing: and now you're putting your awareness into action too.

    Who snatched your food away when you were a kid?
    1898 days ago
    1898 days ago
    Understand totally what you are saying!
    1902 days ago
    I know I'm not going to help your situation but...what if you put aside a serving for your leftovers/lunch ahead of time...that way once what's been served is gone, it's gone.

    I get it though. I ate out Saturday evening and it was a huge serving. I ate until I was full but it was heavenly (chicken fried steak, gravy and fries). It was my last bad meal until I started the Livefit the next day. Anyway, I seriously considered dropping my fork on the ground to keep from making myself sick by finishing my plate!!! We were eating outside so I know I wouldn't have just wiped off my fork and kept eating, lol. BUT I accepted that was a crazy idea just to keep from overeating and refrained. I asked for a to-go box the next time and handled it easier than I thought I would.

    You're aware of this and that is what's important...better to conquer what you know! You can do this, you're on a great path and you have awesome support here!

    1903 days ago

    Comment edited on: 12/3/2012 8:30:13 AM
    Reminds me of going into a restaurant, ordering something, and the getting to that point where you're on the cusp of having enough left to make it worthwhile to ask for a box, or taking that next bite and then feeling almost compelled to finish the rest, out of some odd guilt at leaving food on the plate. Weird thing is, I can't recall any such decision I've had to make in the 13 months I've been on spark, and I'm not sure whether its due to eating out less, or if I'm choosing smarter portions when I do go out.
    1904 days ago
    I love your self awareness emoticon It is a lifetime habit being broken down slowly; I know you will get there. I still haven't gotten over the whole "its so good, gotta have it now, even though I'm stuffed" aspect myself. Delayed gratification is something I would like to really get a handle on. Spark on! emoticon emoticon
    1904 days ago
    I know exactly how you feel. I experience debilitating anxiety whenever someone eats food that I have plans for. I have had complete breakdowns when guests visit and consume my food. It is something I am trying to work on, and I am getting better at it, one challenge at a time. The mantra that helps me the most is, "They always make more."

    I also understand better now that, unlike my past self, other people do know what proper serving sizes are. When I start getting anxious a lot of the time it's because I assume they were like me (consuming a huge 1/4 cup amount of peanut butter with their toast for example) and so I start thinking they'll eat too much of my food (as I would have). In observing other people, I realize they are more responsible than I used to be and they will stop eating when the correct portion size has been consumed.
    1904 days ago
    I can *definitely* relate to this! So many times, I've found myself eating something when I'm full just because I love it so much, never thinking about the fact that this food can be made again and again, especially those favorite meals that we tend to have 1-2 times a month. We always have leftovers, because we save them for lunch the next day, but STILL I struggle with this. Between this and the whole "you have to eat everything on your plate" complex (a huge one in my family growing up, along with a grandmother who tried to push fourth helpings at every meal), I'm surprised I didn't struggle with weight so much when I was a kid...
    1904 days ago
    I have that EXACT same issue and can relate, except my mother would guilt me into eating because I "ate like a bird" and need some "meat on my bones". My good cooking makes my hearty-eating husband "dive in" lips first! emoticon

    We'll get through this together!
    I do understand my "Spark Sister".

    1904 days ago
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