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    LOYAL_HEART   9,657
8,500-9,999 SparkPoints


Sunday, December 02, 2012

As a young person most people described me as incredibly competitive. Indeed as a child if I did not surpass all my peers in anything and everything then I saw my efforts as abysmal failures. As an older person though I am trying to learn personal competitiveness with the primary focus of being the best me. Silly as it might seem, my greatest failure in life remains the complete inability to just be me and concern myself with being the best me. I am really trying to make huge strides in my life right now but I am so frustrated it's taking so long to mature into a grander, more refined version of this author. I feel lazy but I wonder if this is just something I need to experience on my journey.

One day I certainly hope to learn how to compete with the lady in the mirror and no one else. That lacking enlightenment is what truly holds me back.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
BARBANNA 12/6/2012 2:01PM

    emoticon emoticon I understand totally! My father was a major drill sargeant and raised his children to be high achievers. We are all anxiety ridden and competitive which often leads to disappointment with too high expectations. I try to like myself as I am, but feel like I would be better if only.... Someday I will sit back and ask if it was all worth the time and effort. I know there are friends and family who look at me and think, slow down girl!

Please try to be happy with youself for all the special achievements and try to see the big picture. I have a husband and daughter who have altered a lot of my thinking with their love and appreciation. Unfortunately I married a man like my father, so I help him with all his high expectations. We are trying to raise our daughter to be less like the too of us, but it's in her blood, she's worse.

Have a wonderful holiday and count your blessing, especially SP.

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LJOYCE55 12/2/2012 4:59PM

  Very introspective - hope it helps focus your efforts.

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PJ2222 12/2/2012 1:09PM

    emoticon emoticon

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LYNNA1968 12/2/2012 1:04PM

    your not lazy! You will take on this challenge when you have no others, maybe this is your journey and now your started to get motivated to get it done.

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TRAZIJANES 12/2/2012 12:54PM

    Like this. I can relate ...especially where you talk about the inability to just be me and concern myself with being the best me....If you get enlightened...share it with me too. emoticon

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