12/1/12

Day started well. I was up before 5 a.m. feeling awake and rested. Had breakfast, dropped DS off at a breakfast meeting, went to a f2f meeting, picked DS back up, took the dog for his vaccines, got a few things done around the house, had lunch, and headed with DH towards a movie theater. It was obvious we had left too late to get there before the movie started, so we decided to wait until tomorrow. We are planning on seeing ‘Lincoln’. I lurked in a couple of on-line meetings, but just didn’t feel like sharing at those today.

I’ve really been having feelings of depression and anxiety lately, and today the feelings came and went throughout the day. As the day went on, the feelings got worse and closer together. Eventually I took my blood pressure to see if that might be to blame. Nope. My blood pressure was perfect. So, I just continue to do lots of praying. I’m sure much of it has to do with work; it so negative there and you can almost feel the evil in the air.

Food was good today. I was over on my calories, but it had more to do with the types of food and not the volume. I was actually quite happy at dinner. DH decided to order Pizza Hut. There are 8 slices in a large pizza and usually we each have two pieces and get two meals out of it. Now that DS is living with us, that don’t work. I took two pieces anyway, but after I ate the first and started to eat the second, I realized that I didn’t really want the second piece so I stopped! Yay! I did decide I was still a little hungry though and I allowed myself to have some ice cream to finish off my meal. I scooped it out, weighed it and did NOT go back for seconds. Yay! In fact food has been good since 11/20/12 :D

I read my OA readings today and some in my Bible. I also did lots of praying and listened to some Christian music on CD; a couple of the songs had me in tears … God is so good and I am so undeserving. Sometimes it is so hard to accept that someone would die for me; I certainly am not strong enough or courageous enough to die for anyone. That’s why it is so hard; how can I accept something that given the chance, I would not or could not ‘return the favor’ so to speak? Some of my prayer time today was used on trying to deal with this issue.

My plan of action seems a bit scattered. I rarely give it much thought on a daily basis although I do use many of the tools on a daily basis and possibly all of them at least a few times a week. So, I decided to get it out and look at it to see what I was missing and how I could do better at using each of the tools daily. As I read through, I remembered that ‘writing’ is one that I don’t do enough; so here I am. ;-)

Anyway… today I am thankful that I went to the f2f meeting; it really did me good. I’m thankful for the feelings and progress I felt as I listened to the songs, that DS is attending his meetings regularly (though I wish he’d get help for his depression), that the dog’s shots didn’t cost as much as I thought they might, and that I know God will work things out for my good – in His time (and I hope that is sooner than later, lol).

Nighty night – everyone have a great Sunday and enjoy it best you can … Monday will be here all too soon :D