10. You keep wondering when they'll come out with a new flavor of Windex
9. Invested all of your money in wrestling magazines
8. Exonerated of double murder charges but convicted of stealing your sports memorabilia
7. You believe Mitt Romney actually shops at Costco
6. 8PM - swallowed a golf ball, 9PM - emergency room, 10PM - swallowed golf ball
5. As a child, your first word was, 'Huh?'
4. You've lost six cars forgetting where you parked
3. You think the government can cut taxes for the rich and balance the budget
2. You risk job at Credit Suisse to attend lame talk show
1. You're not even the smartest Kardashian

David Letterman