Saturday, December 01, 2012
Well, many of you know that my MIL had a procedure done on Friday called an ablation or ablasion.... Sorry, don't know how to spell it. She has A-fib and this procedure was to "kill" part of her heart in order to put it in and keep it in rhythm. She was in surgery all day yesterday having the procedure done and it all seemed good. She woke up complaining which told us all was fine. But, today her heart returned to A-fib. I don't know if it can happen, but I suspect she may hav caused it to happen by her negative attitude and complaining and stress. Not sure, but I feel it has something to do with it all. Anyhow, she has to stay in hospital and have a pacemaker put in on Monday. She is all tore up about the pacemaker. She doesn't want something implanted and now her body will depend on a machine and what if the machine fails and blah, blah, blah.... You get her picture. Personally, I don't see what the problem is with getting a pacemaker. Yes, it is invasive, but if it is going to keep you alive, then grin and bear it. I do know as a therapist that research supports that people who have heart conditions heal quicker and fare better with positive attitudes. Research also shows that people with terminal cancer live longer with a positive attitude. But, she is who she is and she will be 70 a week from today, so.... I can't help it. Her negativity irritates me.
I had another night of 0 sleep last night. I have no idea what is going on. I am tired. Even very tired and yet I can't seem to fall asleep. Nothing is weighing on my mind. I just can't sleep. My husband said I am a rollercoaster sleeper. Up all night one night and down, dead to the world the next. Last night I even took a pain pil b/c my shoulder was killing me and it didn't put me out as usual. The pain subsided, so that wasn't keeping me awake. I'm at a loss on this one.
I did really good on exercise this past week. I didn't skip 1 single day and had only 1 day with less than 60 minutes. I am doing some pilates now and loving it! This coming week I will be dancing twice a week in belly dance classes again. Loving that. I lost a little weight this week, but not much. Wish all this exercise would work better for me!
I'm really tired due to not sleeping. But, now I am worried about my dad. He is getting very, very forgetful. He has a family history of mini-strokes, major strokes and a brain tumor. But, if you ask him to get tested or talk to his doctor he gets angry. He is a young man, good looking and vibrant, but his memory is bad. I've noticed it go downhill over the past 2 years. At first I attributed it to delayed grief from my brother and sister dying in 2004. Then it got worse, or seemed to, when he retired. Otherwise he is healthy, but the memory is bad and not in just a person aging sort of way.
Worrying doesn't do anyone any good, so I try to figure out how to get him to seek help and let him know that whatever is going on he has no reason to feel ashamed. I think it is his pride getting in the way. Plus, he is the primary caregiver to my mom and I think not only pride, but fear plays a part too. But, if he does have early onset alzheimer's there are medications to help.
I feel like I am just blabbing on here. Sorry! Other than exhaustion, I feel good! Had my nails done today in Phat Santa on my toes and holly berries and leaves on my ring fingers. Feeling festive. Almost all of my christmas gifts came in the mail today, so I can start wrapping! I love giving gifts! It is how I show love.
Well, need to eat and then probably bed for me! So freaking tired!