Feeling Not Good Enough
Saturday, December 01, 2012
It's funny, I was just listening to the first episode, "Feeling Not Good Enough." when a spark friend asked me for the link. I feel very connected to her, over time and space. And my answer to her just kept getting longer & longer, so I decided to blog about it, since maybe you would get something out of it, too.
It's about how the voice in your head tells you you're not good enough, and when you work hard and accomplish great things, that self-judging voice raises the bar even higher. So that no matter what you do, you're never good enough. Like if you found a cure for cancer, it would say why didn't you find it sooner? So that the definition of good enough is like a box that keeps getting smaller, so that you never fit in it.
So, if you step into the duality, the not-good-enough box, it's roomier, because it fits all the things that don't fit into the good-enough box.
But step away, and you'll see that they're both just boxes. They're narrow definitions. You're a whole lot more complex than these boxes. It's like the boxes are the wrong.
Have you ever heard the question, "What is the sound of one hand clapping?" Your mind goes to solving it, thinking about the answer. But the answer is that the question is wrong. It's a stupid question. Like what is the sound of chocolate? What does a rainbow smell like?
So, too is the question "What is good enough?" a wrong question. Just go enjoy your life. Change the question to "How can I have a good relationship with someone today?"