Saturday, December 01, 2012
Change. This is, perhaps, the most feared 6 letter word in the dictionary. Change is not something we, as humans, do easily. Habits get ingrained, comfort zones get reached, and "change" makes us take paths that are new, different, and sometimes scary. My life is full of "change" right now, and it's making me take stock, today.........a rather auspicious day in that it's a Saturday, and it's the first day of a new month.
I've left the place I've been employed, for all but 3 months of the last 8 years, for good. I've held various positions within that organization over those years, and truly care about many of the people that are left there. Finances being what they are, however, and promises made back in March by one set of administrators, that were broken in August by another set, led me to have to seek employment elsewhere. The job I ended up being fortunate enough to be offered not only allows me to work in the field that I love, but I'll be working with veterans - people for whom I have the utmost respect - AND at a substantially higher pay rate! Digging out of the financial hole I ended up in because of those broken promises mentioned earlier is now a distinct possibility! Change #1.
With those financial issues, along came issues with DS.............very unexpected ones. He will always be the child that learns things the hard way, and I've been "tapering off", since September, the support I've given him financially over the years. He's been forewarned appropriately that, as of today, the tapering is done, and the financial support as he's come to know it, ends. There will always be the occasional "Mom can you" from both of my kids.......... but it's make it or break it time with DS. Tough love is tougher on us than it is on them, no matter what age they are. Change #2.
With a new job also comes a new schedule and a new way of having to do things. I will no longer be working from home...........something that I've done for 8 years. I've become the chief cook-laundry person-homemaker-gardener-keep
er of the everything in that 8 years and some of that is going to have to change. I am no longer the Superwoman that the 80's declared we ought to be......................and I'm proud of it! I will not fall into the trap of being the "do-er" and not having any time for myself. Learning to let go..............change #3.
How does that tie into what I've *not* done weight-wise this past BLC round, you ask? I've had to look at a whole lot of things to answer that question..................and the common denominator I've discovered is that I still react to stress, and I still allow that stress/emotional eating to rule my brain. With all the things that are changing.......... I've decided I need to take a different journey in this adventure of weight "loss". I cannot go that journey alone, so I will continue to take it with my Amber Amazon Warriors.............without them, I'd have zoomed way beyond what I weigh now. I've managed somehow not to eat my way beyond the 10 lb. range I seem to keep myself in these days. No - this new journey is one that will have to take me to a different mindset on "weight loss" vs. "weight management". I'm formulating that plan today - on paper - as I take the desperately needed "me" time I have available to me. Change #4.
One. Day. At. A. Time.