talked to advisor and a swim today.
Friday, November 30, 2012
Cold day today... or do I still just have that chill? I wore cordoruy pants and still found it cold. Oh no, do I have to resort to long johns already? Apparently all the apples I picked at the orchard last month just froze n the back porch today too, so must make applesauce to try to rescue them before they are destroyed... an apple crisp sounds real good too... too bad there was no place to save it, ie. freezer and fridge are totally packed solid...
So, no word from dh in over a week because the last time we spoke, I KNOW he said, "Maybe it's time e for me to take a break" -meaning me... But he called last nite after I had such a wonderful day and posted my blog and then a phone call. What gives? Anyway, 2 hrs from midnite till 2am and was asked the same question like 19 times, What am I doing? Where is this going? Can it even go anywhere? He argued black and blue with me that that was not what he said at all....
Speaking with my adviser today again for over an hour, she gave me some good advice and that was, "everyone I have contact with should leave me with a good feeling. Does he do this? We fought most of that two hours, don't resolve anything. The day before, I had actually gotten my cell phone bill and added up that I had spent over 1000 min. in Oct and Nov talking to him, and yet it never goes anywhere.... just going around chasing my tail falling over my legs..
A very positive thing I came across in talking with my adviser today was how many people I do have that I have chosen as friends and can always depend on them to support me. And these people make me feel good, I need to take my own advice from yesterday and make sure I take the time for myself, Like today, I went for a swim.... been awhile, and once again a reminder of how good I feel when I am swimming. I also did some pool exercises, seemed to come up with some extra today that I hadn't done before..
Also, tonite I made a proposition to my niece-in-law that I would be more than willing to assist with baby if she wanted to go into the city a few days a week and either walk the walkway or go swimming. She already takes her dd to day care and would only have to continue on an extra les than 10 km... She is on WW and it would be good for both of us. Likek she said sometimes she doesn't want to just turn around and go back home but doesn't really have the money to go shopping, so I gave her an alternative... a win-win...
Interesting the bro who came home last nite was over here today, and his dd let it slip to her grandmother last nite, that I was picking him up at the airport, so I had to own up to it, or let the dd think her father hadn't arrived.... aye... in the middle of things... Apparently today Mother let my bro know, that what she was worried about was me driving home in the dark with my supposedly dilated eyes. Was this communicated to me? Not at all, till bro told me today.. how can people live like this? AYYYEEEE!
I also realized in talking with my advisor today, who shared some of her story as to why she can empathize so strongly with me....that the reason I probably started knitting again was because my older dd told me last weekend about her foster child now wearing the sweaters I knitted for my oldest g.d... she also shared with me that they go through the old photo albums and she can see her 20 y.o. foster sister as a little girl wearing the exact same sweater.. that brings a big smile to my face..... back to today's sweater I am making for my nephew's dd, it is a beautiful purple.. I have the body knitted up to the armpit and have one sleeve knitted up to there too....it is such amazing stress relief... and you get a gift for someone and a sense of accomplishment.... Great.... I do get more than a little obsessive when I start knitting (or reading for that matter too)
well, Spark, write my book, knit, read, talk on the phone, make applesauce,...... decisions, decisions!! Which one will it be?