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BEATLETOT
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Just...

Friday, November 30, 2012

Many boxes are packed. We know which furniture I'm taking. I finished my last day of work. I got many presents and a severance. We know who the friends who are helping us load are.

It's been a whirlwind of a month. I've been a little sad, really excited, ready, anticipatory, happy, scared, amazed and excited (worth two mentions). As things start to wind down on this side, and I go careening to that inevitable point where I get in the truck, drive away from my house and my exchange student, then leave my husband at a bus station for I don't know how long, I am now feeling just one emotion.

I am so effing, overwhelmingly sad.

I mean, like, artistically sad. I understand why Van Gogh cut off his ear. I get why Kurt Cobain did heroin. I comprehend why George Harrison just wanted to be left alone. The profundity of my sadness is vast.

How can I do this? How can I go away?

I have dinner here in a little bit. I imagined a happy dinner with friends, food, adult beverages...a crappy weigh-in tomorrow, but general good feeling. This hit me like an oncoming car. I had no idea it would hurt like this. But it really, really hurts.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • v AMYLONGHORN
    You're a strong lady....you will be fine! Drive safe!! Love and hugs!
    1363 days ago
  • v RAINBOWCHOC
    sending love from across the pond, it might help but if not it was sent with good intention
    Sandra
    1363 days ago
  • v DONNACFIT
    hugs
    1363 days ago
  • v THOMS1
    emoticon
    1363 days ago
  • v PINKNFITCARLA
    I can totally understand your sadness at such a big change. Hang in there and try to concentrate on the good things! emoticon
    1364 days ago
  • v ACCEPTHECHLNGE
    I had no idea you are about to start a new life somewhere else. I went back several blogs and couldn't find why you are going and where you are going to.
    I have been out of the loop for a while after finding out that my husband had kidney cancer.
    Let me just tell you, in a day or two (via SparkMail), how I felt when I left the Bay Area (near San Francisco) after living there a little bit more than 30 years. I was miserable and didn't know how I would fit into the new world we were about to embrace.
    Have a safe trip and stay in touch.
    1364 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/30/2012 11:03:49 PM
  • v GETSTRONGRRR
    We've moved many, many times over the years....it's tough when you're in the thick of it....always happier on the other side.

    Good luck!
    1364 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/30/2012 9:11:19 PM
  • v CARLYG8
    I know the next couple of days are going to be the roughest for you. When you start to feel sad, or scared, try and concentrate on all the new beginnings, the fresh start you have been given. It won't be easy, but you will be okay. ~hugs~
    1364 days ago
  • v KOKITTY
    I can understand your sadness, you are leaving quite a bit behind. However, let the sadness wash away and allow yourself to feel invigorated and hopeful over the new path you're taking! It's going to be wonderful, and everything will fall into place with time. Take a deep breath and smile :)
    1364 days ago
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