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Friday, November 30, 2012

Many boxes are packed. We know which furniture I'm taking. I finished my last day of work. I got many presents and a severance. We know who the friends who are helping us load are.

It's been a whirlwind of a month. I've been a little sad, really excited, ready, anticipatory, happy, scared, amazed and excited (worth two mentions). As things start to wind down on this side, and I go careening to that inevitable point where I get in the truck, drive away from my house and my exchange student, then leave my husband at a bus station for I don't know how long, I am now feeling just one emotion.

I am so effing, overwhelmingly sad.

I mean, like, artistically sad. I understand why Van Gogh cut off his ear. I get why Kurt Cobain did heroin. I comprehend why George Harrison just wanted to be left alone. The profundity of my sadness is vast.

How can I do this? How can I go away?

I have dinner here in a little bit. I imagined a happy dinner with friends, food, adult beverages...a crappy weigh-in tomorrow, but general good feeling. This hit me like an oncoming car. I had no idea it would hurt like this. But it really, really hurts.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
AMYLONGHORN 12/1/2012 6:16PM

    You're a strong will be fine! Drive safe!! Love and hugs!

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RAINBOWCHOC 12/1/2012 1:56PM

    sending love from across the pond, it might help but if not it was sent with good intention

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DONNACFIT 12/1/2012 9:35AM


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THOMS1 12/1/2012 9:08AM


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PINKNFITCARLA 11/30/2012 11:21PM

    I can totally understand your sadness at such a big change. Hang in there and try to concentrate on the good things! emoticon

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ACCEPTHECHLNGE 11/30/2012 11:02PM

    I had no idea you are about to start a new life somewhere else. I went back several blogs and couldn't find why you are going and where you are going to.
I have been out of the loop for a while after finding out that my husband had kidney cancer.
Let me just tell you, in a day or two (via SparkMail), how I felt when I left the Bay Area (near San Francisco) after living there a little bit more than 30 years. I was miserable and didn't know how I would fit into the new world we were about to embrace.
Have a safe trip and stay in touch.

Comment edited on: 11/30/2012 11:03:49 PM

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GETSTRONGRRR 11/30/2012 9:11PM

    We've moved many, many times over the's tough when you're in the thick of it....always happier on the other side.

Good luck!

Comment edited on: 11/30/2012 9:11:19 PM

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CARLYG8 11/30/2012 8:48PM

    I know the next couple of days are going to be the roughest for you. When you start to feel sad, or scared, try and concentrate on all the new beginnings, the fresh start you have been given. It won't be easy, but you will be okay. ~hugs~

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KOKITTY 11/30/2012 7:02PM

    I can understand your sadness, you are leaving quite a bit behind. However, let the sadness wash away and allow yourself to feel invigorated and hopeful over the new path you're taking! It's going to be wonderful, and everything will fall into place with time. Take a deep breath and smile :)

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